PS 3539 


.038 


H6 


1912 




Copy 


1 



(Notice. — This play is here privately printed and not for 
circulation. All its dramatic rights are fully protected, and 
proceedings will be immediately taken against anyone who 
attempts to infringe them.) 



Holy Lucre 

A DRAMA 

IN 

FOUR ACTS 

BY 
EDWARD STAATS DE GROTE TOMPKINS '^ 



AUTHOR OF 



Through David's Realm/' "An Honest Hypocrite, 
"Protected Interests," Etc. 



Copyrighted igi2 by E. S. De G. Tompkins. 



BOSTON. 

Printed by the Blanchard Printing Co. 

1912 






C!.D 28684 rC 



INTRODUCTION. 



The public at present demands entertainment and instruc- 
tion. Unfortunately no dramatic writer seems to have 
succeeded in supplying both demands. When a play is stupid 
it is labeled a problem play, and the public endures the 
tedium. Wrong construction is condoned because of the 
moral. But why is it not possible to have a problem in a 
play properly constructed and fitted to please? The author 
has that task in mind. The rules of dramatic composition 
have been rigidly followed, and the problem has been made 
striking, and, it is hoped, not tedious. The subject of this 
play is WORTH versus WEALTH. 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE. 



Annette Palmerston, a young American. 
Earl of Tanguay, a young Englishman. 
Reverend Houghton, an American clergyman. 
Mrs. Houghton, his wife. 
Lady Mary Johnson, a sister of Tanguay. 
Mrs. Courtenay, who has great social influence. 
Lord Nevers, her friend. 
Baby, her daughter, very innocent. 
Johnny, young, hence foolish. 
Mrs. Bampton. a climber. 

Mr. Bampton, a necessary attachment, and given to soliloquy. 
Jeanette, Miss Palmerston's maid. 
Monte, a valet. 
Dumbell, a butler. 



ACT I. 
Scene. — Hall at Clampton, afternoon tea. 

ACT H. 
Scene. — Library, same evening. 

ACT HI. 
Scene. — ^Terrace, next morning. 

ACT IV. 
Scene. — Hall, shortly before luncheon. 



SCENARIO. 



The Marquis of San Lucar is an American clergyman 
who has inherited vast wealth from a long forgotten uncle 
in South America, made a marques by Dom Pedro. His 
wealth, something of a burden, gives him an opportunity 
to study human nature in his true character— that of a 
clergyman. He gets a cultivated young woman of great 
personal charm to rent a large place in England, and gather 
about her the leading society lights, and he and his wife 
appear in simple guise. The story hinges on the love of 
an impoverished Earl for the charming friend. The first 
act shows the mutual impression they make on each other, 
and owing to his pride and her lack of wealth the difficulty 
of their marrying. The second act reveals the machinations 
of a poor nobleman who, through a detective disguised as 
his valet, discloses the fact that the heiress is not rich, and 
raises the question of her character, by showing her bills 
are paid by the marquis. The third act develops the plot, 
and the confession of the clergyman leaves little room for 
doubt that the original idea was true. This gives the earl 
a chance to show his manliness, which he does. The fourth 
act straightens out the tangle, and relieves the earl of the 
suspicion she is not what she seems, and gives him an 
opportunity to retrieve his fortunes without marrying for 
money. 

The climax in the first act is where the heroine is impressed 
with the instinctive nobleness of the earl's character. 

The climax in the second act is where he defends her 
character in the face of evidence. 

The climax of the third act is where he stands true to 
his love in spite of seemingly overwhelming evidence. 

The climax of the fourth act is where she learns that he 
has stood true in spite of everything, and shows her devotion 
to his noble character. 



HOLY LUCRE 



ACT I. 

Scene. — Hall at Clamp ton. Tea things arranged. Dumbell 
enters and looks around. 

Dumbell. When Hi took service at Clampton Hi came well 
recommended, hand Hi thought it was ha juke Hi was to 
serve. (Bangs a chair on the floor. Jeanette enters from 
the other side.). 

Jeanette. You 'ave a poor job eef I 'eer right, Meester 
Dumbell. Jukes, as you call them, are veery poor picking. 

Dumbell. Hi haint thinkin'. Miss, that juke his hany kind 
of ha bird has you call hit 

Jeanette. But they say ee was a bird, however. Ee used 

to make the money fly an zen ee took to flying 'imself 

Ha Ha. Zat ees vy we got zees place, don you see? 

You Eenglis are so slow. 

Dumbell. Hi haint slow. Miss. Hi can see things, hand 
things hare mighty queer with that poor minister hand is 
cheap wife. 'Ow hany respectable leddy can 'ave sich things 
around Hi don't see. 

Jeanette. Oh! you don Meester Dumbell, veil, I vill tell 
you somezing. Ze leddy as you call her knows vat she es 
about, see? (Pulling down one eyelid and gazing at Dumbell 
mischieviously. He looks at her admiringly and tries to 
catch her when Monte enters.) 

Dumbell. Ho, Mister Monte, she his that haggravating ! 
(Monte strokes his moustache and smiles.) 

Monte. To you, perhaps ! I can't say I find her so. 

Jeannette. You naughty boy! Just because I like boys. 
Don't you believe him, Meester Dumbell. We were just 
having a serious talk. Meester Dumbell says he only waits 
on jukes. Forsooth. I say money is money, don't you? 

Monte. Rather! and jukes are very poor just now. 

Dumbell. (Miffed at their chaff.) So are ministers and 
ministers' leddies. 

9 



Jeanette. You needn't be sneering at ministers' leddies. 
Miss Palmerston gives me two shillings every time I button 
up the leddy's dress, and she tells me to be very polite, and 
I am very polite when I get two shillings. So now, Meester 
Dumbell ! (Making him a courtesy with a significant glance.) 

Monte. (With a quizzical air.) She seems very fond of 
her poor relation? 

Jeanette. They aren't relations, just friends, and she says 
they are such nice people. I like butter on my bread and I 
like it thick. See? as the Americans says. 

Monte. And these poor friends are the butter on your 
bread? They look pretty thin to me. (With a contemptuous 
air designed to draw her out. Dumbell listens intently.) 

Jeanette. (With a toss of her head.) They are thick 
enough for me ! 

Monte. (With a sneer.) Two shillings don't seem very 
thick to me. 

Jeanette. No, but two pounds do to me ! 

Dumbell. Two pounds ! Hi aven't seen two pounds from 
a soul since Hi 'ave been 'ere. 

Jeanette. That's because you live with a juke. In America 
we would say juke rhymed with fluke. 

Dumbell. Fluke ! (Shocked.) Fluke rhyming with 'is 
grace. 

Monte. (Still curious.) And where do you get your two 
pounds from? I hope his reverence isn't forgetting his 
cloth. 

Jeanette. (Indignantly.) Never in this world, Meester 
Monte. Never in this world ! I get all my money from my 
dear mistress. Every time she tells me to be nice to the 
poor friends she puts two pounds into my hand. 

Monte. (Aside.) The deuce! His lordship will be in- 
terested. She's generous. Generosity isn't human. Ameri- 
cans are fools with their money. 

Jeanette. Not too foolish for me. (Executes a pas de 
seul.) 

Monte. Hush ! they are coming. (All go out. Enter Baby 
and Johnny.) 

Baby. Oh ! Johnny, you are so naughty. 

Johnny. T am? 

10 



Baby. Yes. you haven't been near me for ever so long. 
(Pouts.) 

Johnny. Xow. sweetheart, don't fret. Why, I saw you 
at lunch. 

Baby. At lunch I Why. that was ages ago. 

Johnny. Only three hours. 

Baby. But you haven't said a word to me since 

since 

Johnny. Forgotten. I bet I 

Baby. No I haven't. Xo I haven't. Xot since I had 
that fatherly talk with old Mr. Bampton. So there! 

Johnny. But I don't like your fatherly talks with old 
Bampton. 

Baby. (Jlciously.) X'or do I like your filial devotions to 
Lady Mar}-. 

Johnny. Lady Mary? Why. sweetheart, that's business. 

Baby. I don't know what you mean. 

Johnny. X'or I. (With a grin.) It doesn't mean any more 
than those philosophical pow-pows X'evers has with your 
m.amma. 

Baby. Xow, Johnny, what do you mean? You mean some- 
thing. ^I'ery impressiz-ely.) I am sure you mean some- 
thing. 

Johnny. I mean nothing much, but his highness doesn't 
believe in philosophical conversations. He says they are very 
bad for the morals. 

Baby. Why. Johnny ! Morals ? I don't see how philosophy 
can hurt morals. But I am sure the prince never talks 
philosophy. 

Johnny. So am I. What does he talk of to your mamma? 

Baby. ^Opening her eyes wide.) Why, how do I know? 
He never talks to me at all. Just pats me on the shoulder 
and says, "now run along, little girl." 

Johnny. And you run? (JVith a sneer.) 

Baby. X'ow. Johnny, you are perfectly horrid. I don't 
understand you at all. Mamma would not like your manner. 

Johnny. And the prince does not bother any more with 
you, I suppose? 

Baby. Oh ! he kisses me sometimes Just in a fatherly 

way. 

11 



Johnny. I don't think fatherly ways are nice. 
Baby. (Sharply.) No, nor I motherly ways. 
Johnny. Come now, Baby, be nice, our various mentors, 

examples Ahem! and guides will be with us in a minute. 

Baby. I say, Johnny, you are a very naughty boy. 

Johnny. Of course, sweetheart, I have no encouragement 
to be otherwise. 

Baby. Oh! Johnny, with Miss Palmerston and her 
meenister, as Jeanette calls him? Why, Johnny, you are not 
susceptible to a good example. I shall get the meenister 
to talk to you. He will do you a lot of good. 

Johnny. You don't believe in the meenister? 

Baby. He is awfully good looking, and Jeanette is awfully 
polite to him. And as for his poor unhappy wife 

Johnny. (With interest.) Is she unhappy? 

Baby. Why, Johnny, how can she be anything but un- 
happy with those clothes? I could not live a minute with 
them on. 

Johnny. You sweet thing, kiss me! 

Baby. I won't! Just think how I would look with them 
on. 

Johnny. Better than nothing! 

Baby. Why, Johnny, I will tell my mamma. 

Johnny. You will? 

Baby. I will. And she will tell the prince, he'll tell his 
grandmother, of course! (They both laugh.) But kiss me, 
I'm ready. 

Johnny. I'm not, I am afraid of the meenister. So there! 

Baby. I think you are just horrid. I like Miss Palmer- 
ston. She is really good. I'd like to be rich enough to have 
a chaplain always about me. 

Johnny. If he were good looking, you mean ! 

Baby. Well. (Thoughtfully.) He would have to dress 
better. 

Johnny. And not have a wife! 

Baby. Why, Johnny, what horrid ideas you do have! I'll 
tell mamma and she will tell the prince and he 

Johnny. I don't care a hang for the prince. 

Baby. Oh ! Johnny. 

Johnny. I don't care a hang for anybody but you. 

12 



Baby. Not Miss Palmerston and all her money? 
Johnny. Hang Miss Palmerston! Tanguay is going to 
have her. Lady Mary said so. 

Baby. Did she? I thought I heard mamma say Lord 
Nevers was to have her. 

Johnny. A big lot. What would your mamma do? 

Baby. What do you mean, Johnny? Mamma doesn't have 
to have Lord Nevers. 

Johnny. (Drily.) I thought she did. 

Baby. Oh! no, he's just a friend. Just like the prince. 

Johnny. It must be very nice to have friends. 

Baby. It is, very. (Innocently.) You know Mr. Bampton 
is a great friend of mine. 

Johnny. What? (Savagely.) 

Baby. Why, Johnny, how you do burst out ! Please don't. 
Mamma wouldn't like it. Her nerves are very sensitive. 

Johnny. Oh! are they? 

Baby. (Simply.) Yes, they are. 

Johnny. I think I will marry Miss Palmerston myself. I 
must have money ! 

Baby. (Indifferently.) And she is so rich. 

Johnny. And you would not care? 

Baby. Of course not; not if you always love me, Johnny. 

Johnny. I always shall ; but I say, Tanguay has got the 
inside track. 

Baby. Why so? 

Johnny. Because he is so good. Why, do you know, he 
doesn't even say damn? 

Baby. You don't say! How lonely he must feel at times. 

Johnny. I don't know, he talks a lot with your meenister. 

Baby. Oh! that is to stand well with the heiress. 

Johnny. He's crafty. 

Baby. (Nonchalantly.) J really wonder who will get her 
and the millions? Oh! Johnny dear, wouldn't it be nice if 
we just had the millions, then mamma would approve, and 
you could make faces at Lady Mary, and we could be so 
happy. 

Johnny. (Teasing.) You forget all about old Bampton. 

Baby. Now, Johnny dear, you are the only one I ever 
loved, and the only one I shall ever love. Never mind the 

13 



Bamptons and so forth and so forth. Just love me. 

There now, give me a good kiss. (He does, as Lady Mary 
and Mrs. Bampton enter.) 

Lady Mary. (Who hears a queer sound.) My dear, what 
was that? 

Baby. Only a slap I gave Johnny. He is so forward. 
Don't you think, Mrs. Bampton, English young men are 
perfectly horrid? (Johnny steals a piece of cake and grins. 
Baby joins him in the corner.) 

Lady Mary. As I was saying, Mrs. Bampton, society is 
simply at a standstill, unless you have money. Really, I 
suppose you never knew what poverty was? 

Mrs. Bampton. (With a certain adoration.) Really, Lady 
Mary, how can you speak that way? You know you are 
rolling in wealth ! 

Lady Mary. Yes, I have a little. But just between you 
and me, I like you, Mrs. Bampton, you are so frank and 
openhearted, Johnson really is very close. With all his 
money, too! But as I was saying, now what was I saying? 
Oh ! I know, we were so poor. If you could know how I 
used to shiver at the castle. Oh ! it is all very well to live 
in a real old castle, as you Americans put it, but what is 
history, coats of arms and William the Conquerer got to do 
with keeping warm, and having enough to eat? I have had 
enough of aristocratic poverty ! A good square meal, as you 
Americans say, cooked by a French chef, of course, and a 
simple, storm-proof cottage, with some of your good Ameri- 
can heating, is not at all bad. 

Mrs. Bampton. Like Johnson Court, you mean, with three 
hundred and fifty rooms ! 

Lady Mary. Well. Johnson Court is like an hotel, but a 
first rate hotel is not at all bad. 

Mrs. Bampton. I think Clampton pretty nice. I wish I 
had the money to own it. I do so envy Miss Palmerston. 

Lady Mary. (With deep interest.) Where did she get her 
money? 

Mrs. Bampton. I really don't know. She came to me with 
the very best letters. Really I was quite pleased that the 
people who wrote them even remembered me. 

14 



Lady Mary. I am greatly surprised to hear you speak 
that way. There can be no one in America who would seem 
to be doing you a favor, in your present position with us, 
by introducing a lady. To be sure Miss Palmerston is very 
brilliant, and very beautiful, and is certainly very rich, very 
rich indeed. Otherwise she could never have taken Clamp- 
ton for a long lease. Why, they say the upkeep is something 
awful. It is no wonder the dear duke quite went to pieces, 
even if he did take to aviation. 

Mrs. Bam p ton. The letters did not speak of her wealth. 

Indeed the people who are her friends in New York do 

not at all care for money. 

Lady Mary. How very odd, how very odd ! 

Mrs. Bampton. It does seem odd in this day, I must 

confess. Still, in America there is so much money, and money 

grows so 

Lady Mary. (Enthusiastically.) And money grows so 

Mrs. Bampton. Yes, it grows, and grows 

Lady Mary. (Making a motion with her hands.) It grows 

and grows 

Mrs. Bampton. That ofttimes a large fortune is quite 
overlooked. 

Lady Mary. How careless! (Enter Houghton.) Oh! see 
him ! I cannot understand why he is here. 

Mrs. Bampton. Quite natural. Our American girls are 
very religious, and very devoted to their friends. 
Lady Mary. (Puscled.) When they have no money? 
Mrs. Bampton. Oh ! yes, indeed ! But Miss Palmerston 
is really very simple and straightforward. 

Lady Mary. Indeed ! She seems to me rather sarcastic 
and cutting. 

Mrs. Bampton. Oh ! you must not mind that. I really 
think she is quite eprise with your brother. 

Lady Mary. Do you? I hope so! I don't know what 
he will do if she isn't. I have tried to marry him off a 
dozen times, but he says the girl is too fat, or too lean, 
or he hates vulgar wealth, or some other wretched thing. 
Just as though one should think of such things when one 
is marrying! Where would I be if I had such old-fashioned 
notions? Well, I will tell you this, if he does not marry 

15 



her I shall just let him go. I have done enough for my 
family ! 

Mrs. Bampton. I fancy Lord Nevers would be heart 
broken. 

Lady Mary. He couldn't be heartbroken so long as that 
Courtenay woman lasts. It is perfectly disgraceful how they 
act. And the prince, too, he must be blind. 

Mrs. Bampton. (Confidingly.) I never understood quite 
about the prince. 

Lady Mary. Well, you needn't. If you want to get on 
the less you understand some things the better. Only that 
Courtenay woman will never get the prize for Nevers so 
long as I live and breathe. (Clinches her hands as she rises 
to greet Miss Palmerston, who enters.) We are so glad 
you were not late. Where have you been? 

Miss Palmerston. Just roaming around with Mr. Hough- 
ton. He wanted to see the place. It is really so beautiful. 

Lady Mary. Very grand, very grand indeed. He was one 
of our greatest dukes. So sad, so sad ! Now, what was I 
saying ? 

Miss Palmerston. Something about the place. 

Lady Mary. Oh ! yes, so grand. It would be so nice if 
you owned it, I am sure the duke would sell it. 

Miss Palmerston. (Embarrassed.) Indeed there is some 
talk of its being bought, I believe. 

Lady Mary. To be sure! Holy Lucre is after it, I hear. 
How nice if he gets it! But you have it on a long lease? 

Miss Palmerston. (Still embarrassed.) In a way, in case 
it is not sold. 

Lady Mary. Oh I indeed. Now, what was I saying? 
(Houghton comes up.) You must have enjoyed your walk? 
It must be very nice for you to see such a place? 

Houghton. (Looking at Annette with significance.) Very 
nice indeed, very nice indeed ! 

Lady Mary. (Raising her lorgnette and staring.) Now 
what was I going to say? 

Houghton. (Turning away, and aside.) Heaven only 
knows ! 

16 



Miss Palmerston. You were going to say it is a very fine 
place. It was so nice of the duke to happen to lose his 
money at this time. 

Lady Mary. Exactly. Now where is Tanguay? He is 
never around when one wants him. 

Annette. Alas! it is always so in life. Why should I 
be an old maid when there are so many nice men in the 
world ? 

Lady Mary. (Eagerly and at once reverting to her favorite 
topic.) To be sure. And Tanguay is so foolish! I assure 
you in some things he quite lacks brains. 

Annette. (Teasing.) Oh! does he? It is fortunate he is 
not here just now. He would never do. 

Lady Mary. (Who is very literal.) Please don't say that, 
Miss Palmerston. All nice men lack brains. Now, what 
was I going to say? All nice men never know how to take 
care of themselves. 

Annette. And that is why we women have such a great 
responsibility, is it not? 

Lady Mary. (Who is dense.) To be sure. If I had not 
looked after Mr. Johnson, why, now what was I going to 
say? Why, someone else would. I quite dread to think of 
it, and the castle was so cold. I quite shiver when I think 
of it. 

Annette. That is why I introduced a heating plant here. 
I have always heard that English aristocracy was so cold. 

Lady Mary. Awfully! when we are at home! (Mrs. 
Bampton comes up.) 

Mrs. Bampton. Oh! Miss Palmerston, is it true that you 
have begun negotiations for the purchase of Clampton? 

Annette. Not exactly! I did enquire the price. I ordered 
some improvements, it is true, but then they are not very 
expensive. 

Lady Mary. But you put in bath rooms and heating, and 
I don't know what else. 

Annette. (Somewhat embarrassed.) I believe they were 
ordered. The place would be quite uninhabitable without 
something done. 

Lady Mary. But the expense! though, if money grows and 
grows, as they say it does in your blessed country, the 
expense is nothing. 

17 



Annette. (Incautiously, and with a look at Houghton.) 
That depends who pays the bills. 

Lady Mary and Mrs. Bampton. (Together.) Oh, indeed. 
(Lady Mary puts up her glass, and Mrs. Bampton looks 
pussled.) 

Houghton. It is fortunate it has been all arranged. Miss 
Palmerston is a very clever business woman. All Americans 
seem to possess the ability. 

Lady Mary. (Staring through her glass.) I suppose it 
is only women who have the gift. Men do not always seem 
so fortunate. 

Houghton. (Meekly.) Some men have other, and let us 
hope, higher thoughts. 

Lady Mary. Indeed, that does very well for the cloth, 
Mr. Houghton, but other people must live. For the clergy, 
as their minds are set on spiritual things, it does not much 
matter if they live or not. Now does it, Mrs. Bampton? 
(Turning away.) 

Annette. You have a specimen of the real English aris- 
tocrat ! 

Houghton. Don't say that! Now. Tanguay does not 
strike me at all as being that way. I think he is a fine 
fellow. 

Annette. He is her brother. They say certain traits run 
.in certain families. The worst thing about him is his sister. 

Houghton. But do you know, I have often noticed the 
same families have members of exactly opposite types. I 
shall continue to believe in him until I have certain proof 
that he is not what I think him. 

Annette. (Clasping her hands.) I do wish you were 
right ! 

Houghton. My dear Annette, you surprise me! I did not 
think you had such an interest in him. 

Annette. (Hastily.) I did not say I had. But I like him, 
and yet how can I think him anything but a mere fortune 
hunter? 

Houghton. Well, you have yourself to blame, or rather 
me! I think it is great fun, so will you. You are no longer 
a silly school girl. 

Annette. Thank you, I am not sure I was ever one! 

18 



Houghton. We all have our veal-like days. You are quite 
safe. I would not have exposed you to temptation had I 
thought that you would have yielded. I am quite sure I 
can trust you. 

Annette. Are you quite sure? Perhaps, old friend, you 
are right, but I should say never trust a woman's heart. 

Houghton. Te te ta te ta. It would be too funny 

if I started a romance. I have always been dying to have 
one myself, and now to be right in the midst of something 
exciting really rouses my ambition. I admit we have enough 
villains. 

Annette. That is all very well for you, but I am getting 
sorry that I ever undertook this. 

Houghton. I don't see why you should be, you certainly 
have the chance of your life to study human nature. 

Annette. I don't think I like human nature, it gets to be 
fearfully tiresome. 

Houghton. It is only for a short time. I am having a 
fine time. I was never snubbed so in my life. (The tea is 
brought in by footmen, and Dumbell superintends gravely. 
The guests group themselves according to fancy. Annette 
at the table.) 

Annette. Pray, make yourself useful. (To Houghton.) 
(He hands a cup of tea to Lady Mary, she puts up her 
glass and surveys him.) 

Lady Mary. Ah! how well you fulfill your calling! It is 
to serve, is it not? Delicious tea we have here, Mrs. Bamp- 
ton. Do you have as good in America? 

Mrs. Bampton. I really have forgotten ! but we always 
have sweet cream, and not skimmed milk. 

Lady Mary. Oh ! yes, how nice, how very nice 1 Well, 
I do think sweet cream is better than sour milk. I do assure 
you, Mrs. Bampton, at Tanguay Castle one was glad to get 
even sour milk. It is so dreadful to be poor, so very 
dreadful! Now what was I going to say? 

Houghton. I presume. Lady Mary, you were going to say 
it must be nice for a poor minister to have sweet cream 
instead of sour milk! 

Lady Mary. Quite so, quite so. (Enter Mrs. Courtenay, 
very much dressed and painted.) There comes that Courtenay 

19 



woman ! What unlimited brass ! And all because of the 
prince. 
Mrs. Bampton. (Pleadingly.) Do explain the prince. 
Lady Mary. (Raising her glass.) Really, Mrs. Bampton, 
you might as well ask me to explain the reason of the 
universe. I suppose it is just a question of self-preservation. 
At any rate she looks well preserved. Now doesn't she? 
(Much pleased with her little joke.) 
Annette. You are just in time! 

Mrs. Courtenay. My dear, I can never miss my cup of 
tea. Any meal but this. Really I dread the thought of 
hearty food. (Houghton passes her a cup of tea. She stares 
at him and takes it without speaking.) I do wonder where 
the men are, dear Miss Palmerston? 

Houghton. (With mischief.) You adhere to the saying 
men, women and priests. 
Mrs. Courtenay. (Contemptuously.) Certainly, why not? 
Houghton. (With a smile.) You evidently care very little 
about your soul. 

Mrs. Courtenay. My soul ! Indeed I am not sure I have 
one. A soul is an unknown possibility. I prefer something 
thoroughly well understood. 
Houghton. (Meekly.) Money? 

Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, if you choose to put it in that vulgar 
way. I do trust, Miss Palmerston, you are not going to 
compel us to listen to sermons. 

Annette. (Much amused.) Oh! no. none of us like 
medicine. The more we need it the more we dread it, is it 
not so? 

Mrs. Courtenay. Humph ! Perhaps you are right, I always 
notice I can listen to a sermon much more contentedly when 
my bills have all been paid. I suppose that is why you have 
a chaplain. No amount of preaching could disturb you. 
Annette. Are debts the only sins you encounter? 
Mrs. Courtenay. Just about all, so far as I can think. 
Annette. Then I should think you might be happy. 
(Tanguay enters.) Mrs. Courtenay was saying she had no 
sins but debts. 

Tanguay. Can't say if I am so fortunate! Happily I 
have no debts. They are a great mistake. They must worry 

20 



a fellow a lot. As for sins, I have my share. A fellow 
would be deucedly uninteresting without them. 

Annette. Is that your only claim to interest? 

Tanguay. Pretty nearly, any chap can have those. It is 
for that reason I don't count for much. 

Mrs. Courtenay. How you ever get on without debts 
passes my comprehension. 

Tanguay. I repress myself. 

Mrs. Courtenay.^ But that is such a nuisance. 

Tanguay. Oh ! I don't know, one can be happy without a 
lot of expenses. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, but one must have the bare neces- 
sities of life. . /rj- J 

Tanguay. (Looking her over.) To be sure! (He and 
Annette exchange glances.) 

Mrs. Courtenay. Come now, Tanguay, you are posmg. 

Tanguay. No, I am not! 

Mrs Courtenay. Well, you are not much like your sister. 

Tanguay. Bless her heart, I am so glad I am not. Mary 
must have money. It is like air to her. 

Annette. (Aside.) I wonder if he is posing? He cer- 
tainly does not look it. 

Tanguay. I say, Mrs. Courtenay, you must not judge all 
of us fellows by Nevers. Some of us can take a slow pace. 

Mrs. Courtenay. (Viciously.) I don't. Just why you 
speak of him now I don't see. (Moving about.) 

Tanguay. (With a smile.) Nor I. 

Annette. You don't like Lord Nevers? 

Tanguay. No, do you? (With interest.) 

Annette. Oh! I? How can I tell? He is very polite, he 
seems quite the thing. I understand he is accepted every- 
where. Mrs. Bampton said it would be quite right to ask 
him if I asked Mrs. Courtenay. I did not quite understand 
what she meant. 

Tanguay. (Looking at Annette with attention, then away.) 
You did not? Don't seek to understand our ways. Money 

does not seem to have spoiled you and don't let it! 

Monev has been the curse of England. The lack of it is 
the curse to-day. The English aristocracy has been educated 

21 



to a plane of living which it is becoming more and more 
difficult to maintain. It is misery, misery, I assure you ! 

Annette. So far as I can see it appears an agreeable 
misery. 

Tanguay. To you, yes. You see the glitter, the smiles, 
the cordiality, the bloom, but you do not see the tinsel, the 
bitterness, the hatred, selfishness that is so deftly hidden. 
You do not see a beautiful flower doctored, manipulated, 
poisoned to present a base and meritricious appearance. 
(They both glance at Mrs. Courtenay.) But I will say no 
more. At least I wish you to believe us, that is — some of 
us — are well bred. 

Annette. I do not quite understand you, 

Tanguay. It is not well bred for me to criticise your 
guests to their hostess. 

Annette. (Aside.) Is this man posing, I wonder? (To 
Tanguay.) Please do take some more tea. 

Tanguay. Thank you, I will, you make it just right. May 
I ask if it is acquired skill or personality? 

Annette. Which would you prefer it to be? 

Tanguay. Hesitating, then suddenly.) Personality. 

Annette. You prefer something I cannot help rather than 
something that shows ability. 

Tanguay. (Desperately.) Yes, in you. 

Annette. In me? (Stammering.) I don't quite under- 
stand. 

Tanguay. (Confused.) Don't try. 

Annette. But I am a woman, I am curious. 

Tanguay. Yes, and curiosity has destroyed many a per- 
son's happiness. 

Annette. Your happiness or mine? 

Tanguay. It might be mine. 

Annette. If you continue this way you will be quite too 
fascinating. 

Tanguay. How? 

Annette. First you admit you are a sinner, then you give 
me an uncertain compliment and 

Tanguay. And ? 

Annette. (Confused.) I forgot. I will not add further 
to your fascinations. 

22 



Tangnay. (Humbly.) Please do! 

Annette. (Looking at him carefully.) Other women can 
do that better than I can. 

Tanguay. Perhaps not to my taste. 

Annette. Well, I shall not tell you. Perhaps Mrs. Court- 
enay will. At any rate I will venture this much, if she can 
be as frank with Lord Nevers she ought to be equally frank 
with you. (Turning to Mrs. Bampton, who sits down be- 
side her.) 

Tanguay. (Rising, and aside.) What in the deuce is she 
driving at? 

Mrs. Bampton. (Whispering.) Isn't he nice? I do so 
admire him. And I will take a little more tea. 
Annette. Are Englishmen ever sincere? 
Mrs. Bampton. (Nearly dropping her cup.) My dear! 
Annette. Are Englishmen ever sincere when talking to a 
woman ? 

Mrs. Bampton. Now, my dear, is a man ever sincere 
except when he is dealing in stocks or talking horse? 

Annette. I don't know that he is, now that I think of it. 
Perhaps that is why I never married. 

Mrs. Bampton. Oh! is that it? I have wondered so 
much, 

Annette. You have? I did not suppose I was a matter 
of such great interest. 

Mrs. Bampton. Oh! but you are, you know. Why, with 

all of 3-our advantages there, but I will not talk any 

more. 

Annette. Don't, or you will make me think you are no 
more sincere than the men. 

Mrs. Bampton. He has been talking to you? 
Annette. Why, yes, as you just saw. 
Mrs. Bampton. (Eagerly.) What did he say? 
Annette. Now come, Mrs. Bampton, I surely could not 
tell you. you know. But he did not propose! 
Mrs. Ba 'Upton. (Disappointed.) Didn't he? 
Annette. No, he didn't. Do you suppose he will? 
Mrs. Bampton. Of course. 

23 



Annette. I suppose so, they all do. I have hardly looked 
at a man twice that he did not propose. If Lord Tanguay 
did not propose I would marry him. 
Mrs. Bampton. But, my dear, how could you? 
Annette. Propose myself! 

Mrs. Bampton. (Struck by a new thought.) Yes, why 
shouldn't you? In your position it would be quite proper 
I am afraid, though, he will make the mistake of doing it 
himself. (Runs off. Mrs. Houghton enters and takes a 
seat to one side. Annette perceives her and motions her to 
have a cup of tea.) 
Annette.^ Don't sit away off there! 

Mrs. Houghton. Why not, I don't seem to be wanted any- 
where else. (Enter Mr. Bampton. He takes no notice of 
anyone and soliloquises.) 

Bampton. Deuced queer! The old ladv in her element 
Launched a new heiress. The supply will give out in the 
States. Married one myself. It's better'n work, by gad! 

I find It is very undignified to work, very very, indeed 

Now she's got her heiress launched, got the Courtcnay and 
all, swell up gang, got a suitable parti, got it all en train 

and now the fun begins and what fun! Let me see 

how many of these bloomin' heiresses has she landed already 
on the long suffering, but still patient British public? 

Annette. (Looking up.) Please have some tea, Mr. Bamp- 
ton. 

Bampton. Tea, tea. have some tea yes, that is it. It 

IS tea and toast, and toast and tea, and another heiress is 
gone, gone right to the bosom of the British public. 

Annette. (Laughing.) As lambs to the slaughter. 

Bampton. (Waking up.) Eh eh, as lambs to the 

slaughter? Now, my dear Miss Palmerston, my wife hasn't 
been slaughtered yet. I'm to be the victim when the time 
comes. In fact I am nearly slaughtered now. thank you! 
(Takes tea and turns away. Nevers enters.) Slaughter, well 
slaughter isn't so very bad when you would otherwise die 
of starvation. No, it would be rather nice for the chap 
who gets Clampton. 

Nevers. The chap who gets Clampton ! Your mind travels 
far and fast, Bampton. The duke hasn't shed it yet. 



24 



Bampton. He is as good as out of it, Nevers, as good as 
out of it. 

Nevers. As good as out of it? You take some stock in 
this story that Miss Palmerston has bought the place? 

Bampton. Yes, why not? She has a tremendous lot of 
money, why shouldn't she buy it? 

Nevers. No reason whatever, if she really has the money. 
But there is a rumour that Holy Lucre is after the place. 

Bampton. (Surprised.) Holy Lucre! you mean the Mar- 
quis of San Lucar? 

Nevers. Yes, he would be a formidable rival, even Miss 
Palmerston could not outbid him. 

Bampton. But San Lucar is a Spaniard. 

Nevers. No, he is an American. 

Bampton. You surprise me, an xA.merican, from South 
America? 

Nevers. No, from North America. He is from the States. 

Bampton. You don't say? Tell me about him. 

Nevers. Filthy Lucre, as some are pleased to call him, 
was a poor man in the States, v.^ho learned one day a long 
forgotten uncle had died in the Argentine leaving him a 
fortune quite beyond belief in size. With this fortune went 
the title of San Lucar, given by the Brazilian Emperor, and 
confirmed by the King of Portugal. He seems an extra- 
ordinary character, very eccentric, and, when he likes, ex- 
ceedingly generous with his wealth'. So far very little is 
known about him. For he appears little in public, but when 
he does, surrounded by so much magnificence as to quite 
take one's breath away — in short, another Monte Cristo. 

Bampton. I see, just a vulgar rich. 

Nevers. Quite the contrary, not at all vulgar, very 
polished in his manner — indeed quite fascinating. 

Bampton. But ignorant, I know. 

Nevers. Neither vulgar nor ignorant. A cultivated, highly 
educated, accomplished gentleman. 

Bampton. And so poor 

Nevers. Well, I am poor myself, so that does not count. 
But here is the rub. I have means of knowing this Miss 
Palmerston is not quite what she seems. 

Bampton. (Astonished.) Not quite what she seems! 

25 



Nevers. No, there is reason to believe that some one is 
paying her bills. 

Bampton. Paying her bills! Are you sure? 

Nevers. Pretty sure. 

Bampton. Not paying her bills? 

Nevers. Well, don't mind that, I am not paying mine. 

Bampton. But the old lady won't like that. I must get 
her out of here right away. 

Nevers. Oh! don't be in so much of a hurry. You 
needn't go until I do. Besides, you are not paying your bills 
either. 

Bampton. (Aghast.) Not paying my bills, why 

why 

Nevers. The whole world knows 3'our wife is doing it. 
So don't be squeamish. 

Bampton. But who is paying her bills? 

Nevers. How do I know? What I want to know is, if 
she is able to pay her own and mine too. There is reason 
in my madness. (Turns to Mrs. Courtenay.) 

Bampton. (Solo.) I knew there was something up. There 
always is where I go talking to myself. Strange what an 
effect I have on things. Or is it that things have an effect 
on me? Why, Baby! (Who comes up) where have you been 
all this time? 

Bahy. Just scolding Johnny. He is so naughty, so naughty. 
I can't do anything with him. 

Bampton. (Fatherly.) You poor child. You do have such 
a time. I really feel for you greatly. 

Baby. Yes, do feel a lot, and do it now while Johnny is 
looking. Horrid boy, I don't like boys. 

Bampton. (Pleased.) Great big men men like 

Bahy. (Innocently.) Men like you. Yes, that's it. Men 
who are not always naughty. Now come over here and bring 
me a cup of tea. Naughty Johnny spoiled mine by putting 
too much sugar in it. (They retire to the side. Annette 
gets up from the table and Tanguay comes to meet her. 
The others gradually disappear.) 

Tanguay. You are not going ? Oh ! not so soon. 

Annette. Is it soon? 

26 



Tanguay. Why, it is altogether too soon. Yet I don't 
know, perhaps not. 

Annette. And yet not too soon. Really, you gave my 
curiosity a severe strain just now. More and it will break. 
Now why not too soon? 

Tanguay. Oh ! I don't know. (Hesitating.) It is never 
too soon to go away if one is about to do a foolish thing. 

Annette. (Laughing, and sitting down. The rest have 
disappeared.) I am quite sure nothing will move me now, 
until the first bell rings. You see me fixed. You might as 
well accept your fate. I shall probe your soul to the bottom. 
(She motions him to a seat.) 

Tanguay. (Aside.) What does she mean? She can't 
intend to lead me on just to throw me over. She must 
know I can't marry her. You are too good. A woman's 
curiosity must be handled with care. I appreciate the 
delicacy and the danger of the task. 

Annette. Mine is great, I assure you. (Aside.) I am 
dying to see how he will act. 

Tanguay. I fancy it must be to come among us knowing 
us so little, encountering the risks you do 

Annette. The risks! I do not quite understand. You 
persist in whetting my curiosity. The risks 

Tanguay. Yes, risks. You come here a young girl 

Annette. (Sadly.) Not quite so young. 

Tanguay. Inexperienced 

Annette. Not quite so much as you think. 

Tanguay. At any rate with a feeling of security 

Annette. Yes, that is true. But I am yet to see the 
danger. 

Tanguay. You come to a people that is not your people 

Annette. I thought we were cousins. 

Tanguay. Yes, but even cousins may be strangers. 

Annette. But even strangers may be gentlemen. 

Tanguay. True, but ideas of gentlemen may vary greatly. 
Your standard and your idea of a gentleman may not be 
ours. 

Annette. Please explain. 

27 



Tanguay. (Disquieted.) Why, for instance, take the matter 
of marriage. With you I believe a woman never marries 
unless she can love the man 

Annette. That is hardly true, but go on. 

Tanguay. While here it is quite different. Among us 
marriages are arranged. Caring for each other weighs but 
little. Other things count more. Money occupies a most 
prominent place and 

Annette. (Aside.) A most extraordinary way of propos- 
ing. And why should it not? 

Tanguay. True, it is a most necessary thing to keep up 
appearances. 

Annette. I quite agree with you. 

Tanguay. It is quite possible for a man to marry wealth, 
if he can find a woman foolish enough to take him. 

Annette. (Encouragingly.) There have been such fools. 

Tanguay. And there are likely to be a great many more. 

Annette. (Astonished and aside.) Really this is most 
extraordinary. 

Tanguay. You are placed now in an atmosphere of pure 
greed. You probably do not perceive it. 

Annette. Outside of the servants, I had not noticed it. 

Tanguay. You see English society at its best. Please 
realize that. 

Annette. (Much amused.) Is this a lecture or a warning? 

Tanguay. Please, Miss Palmerston. (Rising) do not speak 
that way. I know I am fit for your scorn. I know I am 
in a bad light. I know I can seem to you nothing but what 
my sister would have me appear. I know well your sarcasm 
and brilliant wit, but do not pour out on me your contempt. 
I do not deserve it, I do not. Believe me, will you not, that 
I am a gentleman, and with God's help I will remain one. 
It is my poverty which puts me in this position. It is that 
wretched thing called family that makes me act like the rest. 
Act as though there was nothing in the world but pretense 
and a mad rush after gold. Please do think that there can 
be one Englishman, yes, an English nobleman, who can be 
a man, in the true English sense. 

Annette. (Much moved.) I never thought you were - 

any else. 

28 



Tanguay. Oh ! you did, I saw it in your face, that face, 
that sweet face, (She starts) distorted by a sneer, and I was 
the cause of it. Don't fear me, I may be a fortune hunter, 
I may be obHged to be one, but I will not have you think 
that of me. 

Annette. Why not have me think so if you are so? 

Tanguay. My God ! I am not. If you knew how I have 
detested my position, how I have longed to work, yes, work 
with these unfit hands to earn an honest living, and leave 
the miserable thing called rank, a rank without honor, with- 
out dignity, without words. You are right in making the 
mistake, I was wrong to come here. I know it now, I knew 
it then. I have stayed too long, too long by far, if I have 
earned your contempt. 

Annette. (Hastily.) You have not. 

Tanguay. There is only one thing to do, I must do it. 
But I want you to consider what I have said and do me the 
justice. It is no small matter for an honest man to have 
the approval and respect of a noble woman. (The bell rings, 
they rise.) Forgive me if I have been foolish, but it has 
hurt so to think that you might despise me. 

Annette. (Much moved.) I shall never despise you. 
(Giving her hand, and an intense look. , Tanguay goes out.) 
No, I shall never despise the only man I ever loved. 

Curtain. 



29 



ACT II. 

Scene — Library, same evening. Enter Tanguay. Takes out 
a cigar and lights it moodily. Moves around and knocks 
things over. 
Tanguay. Hang it. (Pauses and smokes vigorously.) 
Hang it! (Sits down carelessly and looks dejected.) I am 
sure she despises me. I made an ass of myself, as I usually 
do. Heavens, Tanguay, why can't you ever learn sense, and 
not go off like a rocket every time you happen to see a 
pretty girl? (Smokes still harder.) I have read somewhere 
about phlegmatic Englishmen, but, by gad, I never saw any. 
That is, any that could stay so for very long. What a set 
oi bottled up, pressed down, bubbling-over hypocrites we are 
to be sure. We are not only hypocrites to the Almighty, but 
to ourselves also. Heavens what a fool I have made of 
myself ! I do so wish I had learned to swear. Coaxed by 
that wretched sister of mine to come here, she knows I hate 
vulgarity, money and vulgarity go together, I come to find 
the finest v/oman I ever knew enshrined in her money like a 
saint in an Italian halo, and as unapproachable as a 
madonna. I am expected to act the hypocrite, to smirk, to 
wheedle, to dangle that miserable earl's coronet — mine is made 
of tin before her, and ask her to take down her mag- 
nificent halo of gold, and put on a shabby tin affair made 
to please the vulgar London mob. How like a fool I look 
in it, and how like a fool I am with it. Then to complete 
the horrid affair I must go and make a scene and act like a 
schoolboy of sixteen, only to have her first jeer at me and 
then be so kind as to pity me. I know it ! (Pause.) I will 

swear damn She actually pitied me No, she 

didn't, she laughed at me. (He walks about impatiently.) 

(Pauses.) Damn I have simply got to go and I have 

got to say good-bye. I can't do it before those people, not 

before that beastly Nevers (He stops and thinks.) 

Nevers he will think I have proposed and been refused. 

Nice situation, isn't it? I'll stay (Walks around some 

31 



more.) No, I can't. I simply can't. I must go, and I must 
say good-bye, and I must say it to her alone. (He rings, 
DuMBELL enters.) Oh ! Dumbell, I shall be leaving in the 
morning. 

Dumbell. Yes, my lord. 

Tangiiay. By the eight ten. (Monte enters and stops.) 

Dumbell. Yes, my lord. 

Tangiiay. (Seeing Monte.) You here. 

Monte. I was looking for Lord Nevers, my lord. 

Tangiiay. Stay a moment, I have a word to say. (To 
Dumbell.) Ask Miss Palmerston if I may speak with her 
a moment. I wish to see her alone. (Monte starts.) 

Dumbell. Yes, my lord, is that all? 

Tanguay. It is, you may go. (Dumbell exit.) Now just 
why did you happen in? 

Monte. My lord! 

Tanguay. What reason had you to suppose Lord Nevers 
was in the library? 

Monte. (Stammering.) I could not find him anywhere 
else. He might have been reading. 

Tanguay. You know he never reads. By the way, I know 
all about you. 

Monte. (Startled.) You know all about me? 

Tanguay. Yes. You are the secret agent of Dunawar's 
private detective agency. You do the valet act, the con- 
fidential servant act, and you do it well. What the devil 
you are here for I don't know, but I won't have you spying 
after me, do you hear? Now go! (Monte bows and de- 
parts.) That devil of a Nevers ! Go and leave Miss Palmer- 
ston in the hands of the slickest set of rogues London can 
produce? I won't yes, I will. It is none of my busi- 
ness hang it, now I have got to go I have got to 

go. I have asked Miss Palmerston here to say good-bye. 
What could I say if I did not say good-bye? Heavens, 
Tanguay, you are a fool. (Jeanette enters, and starts as she 
sees Tanguay.) Well, what do you want? 

Jeanette. (Confused.) I was looking for Mr. Monte, 
Lord Nevers' valet. 

Tanguay. (Astonished.) Looking for Lord Nevers' valet. 

32 



Jeanette. Yes. (Stammering.) I had a message for 

for 

Tanguay. For whom? (Sharply.) 

Jeanette. For Lord Nevers. 

Tanguay. And why did you come to the library to see 
Lord Nevers' valet? 

Jeanette. Someone told me he was here. 

Tanguay. That will do. (Exit Jeanette.) So she had 
a message for Nevers' valet to give to him? What in 
thunder is going on? I find an expert detective in the house 
and this girl evidently having some understanding with him. 

So Miss Palmerston sends notes to Nevers I wonder 

why? They see each other as often, and where they like. 
Nevers is a rascal. Can she ever be his dupe? That 
Courtenay woman here too. In spite of her position, in 
spite of the prince, she is not the woman for Miss Palmer- 
ston to receive. The poor girl surely needs a protector. I 
suppose she thinks with Mary here, and her friend, Mrs. 
Bampton, she is well protected. But is she? (Enter 
Annette.) 

Tanguay. Oh ! I am so sorry to trouble you. 

Annette. It is no trouble, I assure you. Please sit down. 
(He sits.) 

Tanguay. (Hesitating.) I only wanted to see you a 
moment. It would have been rude not to. 

Annette. Rude, why rude? 

Tanguay. (Still hesitating.) Well you see I am leav- 
ing in the morning. 

Annette, Leaving in the morning! 

Tanguay. Yes, I must go, and as I take an early 

train I wanted to say good-bye. I could have written a note. 

Annette. A note! 

Tanguay. Yes, it would have been better, and then I 
needn't have disturbed you. 

Annette. It would have been better 

Tanguay. Yes, it would have been much easier 

Annette. (Hurt.) Easier? 

Tanguay. You needn't have 

33 



Annette. (Pausing.) I am afraid, Lord Tanguay, I do not 
quite understand you. I had no idea you thought of leaving 
so soon. Why, you have been here only a few days. I 
thought you were to remain a couple of weeks. 

Tanguay. Well, yes, I did expect to stay a while, but 

Annette. But 

Tanguay. Things have happened and I find I must go 

in the morning. 

Annette. You have business 

Tanguay. No. 

Annette. You do not like it here. 

Tanguay. Oh! yes, I do, I like it very much. 

Annette. You are bored. Perhaps you do not find our 
company very entertaining. 

Tanguay. Very much so indeed. 

Annette. Then you have some business 

Tanguay. No, no. Oh! I mean yes that is 

(Aside.) I can't lie to her. (He walks away and pauses, 
while she follows him with her eyes.) 

Annette. You don't like me. (Slowly.) 

Tanguay. Miss Palmerston ! 

Annette. After what you said this afternoon I should not 
have thought that, but perhaps you did not mean it. 

Tanguay. (Distressed.) How can you say that? 

Annette. It was very nice to hear that some one wanted 
to be respected. I do myself. I thought a good deal of that 
during dinner. But when I looked at you it seemed a desire 
ior respect and approval must be a very unhappy feeling. 

Tanguay. It is when one is not sure of getting it. 

Annette. And are you not sure of getting it? 

Tanguay. Not from the source I want it from. 

Annette. You should have more faith in people, and more 
faith in yourself. 

Tanguay. How can I? I ask you how can I. placed as 
I am? Bound down by trammels not of my making, kept in 
by silly customs, placed in a vise as it were, how can I break 
through them and put myself on a plane with a man who 
can make a place in the world, and can make his life what he 
would wish it to be? You say I am free, strong, inde- 
pendent ! I say I am not free. I am one of a class and 

34 



must do as that class demands, or become a pariah. It is 
not so easy to become a pariah in the eyes of those you 
love and know. How am I to know, if I burn my bridges 
behind me, that I shall gain the victory? If I fail I am 
utterly lost. It requires courage to do that, and I am not 
brave, not brave enough to throw myself into outer darkness 
without some chance of success. Ruined by a line of miser- 
able ancestors, who thought more of themselves than of 
anything else, I am expected to retrieve my fortunes by 
marrying a woman for money. I won't ! I will not debase 
myself to such a degree. My person is sacred to myself, 
and I will not make it a miserable means to gild a tin 
coronet. (Annette regards him with shining eyes.) You 
don't know the sting of poverty, you know only the burden 
of superfluous wealth. 

Annette. Are you quite sure? 

Tangiiay. Why should I not be sure? I am also sure 
you pity me. Thank you for that. Even that from you is 
something, but I won't be pitied. I am a man, and I will 
remain one. Good-bye, Miss Palmerston, and forgive me for 
making a scene and bothering you with my troubles. 

Annette. Are you quite sure I pity you? 

Tanguay. (Startled.) Sure I don't know, do you? 

. Annette. No, I do not. 

Tanguay. And why not? 

Annette. Because I see no reason to pity you. 

Tanguay. You don't? You don't think I am good enough 
to be pitied. 

Annette. (Rising.) No, I am proud of you. 

Tanguay. Proud of me proud of me? You must be 

daft! 

Annette: No, I am not daft. I am feeling quite right. 
Shake hands with me. I want to shake hands with a real 
man. It will be very refreshing, after the hands I have 
shaken lately. {He gives her his hand in amazement.) Now 
I want you to countermand your directions for leaving and 
finish your visit. (She rings.) I simply cannot spare you. 
I shall not allow myself to be deliberately robbed of my 
choicest guest. (Dumbell enters.) Lord Tanguay will re- 
main, Dumbell, please tell his man. 

35 



DumbelL Very well, my leddy. (Exit.) 

Tanguay. No, stay, I say, Dumbell Oh ! he's gone. 

Really I cannot stay, you don't understand. 

Annette. Oh! yes, I do. I personally wish you to remain, 
now do. 

Tanguay. (Very much distressed.) But, Miss Palmerston, 

you do not understand. Really I cannot remain. I must 

oh! I must go. 

Annette. (Smiling.) Business. 

Tanguay. No yes, why I simply can't. 

Annette. (Sitting down.) I am deeply interested in this 
puzzle. I shall stay until my curiosity is gratified. Come now. 
Lord Tanguay, you will do that much for me. 

Tanguay. (Frightened.) You put me in an awful position. 

Annette. (Sweetly.) Do I? Just think of the position in 
which you put me. 

Tanguay. (Surprised.) You ? I don't see you are in any 
position. 

Annette. Oh! you don't? Well, it seems to me if you 
suddenly flee you are giving me something to explain. You 

do not suppose my friends lack curiosity or even 

a touch of malice sometimes? 

Tanguay. I don't understand. 

Annette. Well, what reason am I to give Mrs. Bampton 
for instance why you left? I am in a way bound to make 
matters straight with her. These people are her friends, 
and if you suddenly disappear, these friends may conclude 

Tanguay. Conclude well, they would conclude I went 

away. 

Annette. Yes, why did you go away? There must have 
been a reason for this abrupt departure. What reason? 

Tanguay. (Hotly.) It is none of their business. 

Annette. I agree with you there, but they won't feel that 
way. 

Tanguay. Let them feel as they like. 

Annette. But how will I feel? 

Tanguay. You? You don't care. 

Annette. I do care. I care a great deal. I want to be 
treating my guests well, I do not want to have them think I 
could be unkind to one of their number. 

36 



Tanguay. But you haven't been. 

Annette. But it will look so. 

Tanguay. I'll be dashed if I see why. 

Annette. (Slily.) What do you suppose Lord Nevers will 
think? 

Tanguay. Lord Nevers ! who cares a d diamond what 

he thinks? 

Annette. Well, I do! (With spirit.) 

Tanguay. You do ? 

Annette. I most certainly do. 

Tanguay. (Thoroughly puzzled.) I can't see at all. 

Annette. (Impatient.) You can't see even with glasses on. 
Now tell, what would you think if Lord Nevers were to 
leave suddenly without any reason whatever? 

Tanguay. (Thinks.) Why I would think he had. 

been such an unmitigated ass as to dare to ask for 

the honor of your hand and been refused. 

Annette. Well, what then? 

Tanguay. Oh ! I see, but you haven't refused me. 

Annette. I haven't had a chance. 

Tanguay. (Struck dumb.) Miss Palmerston, you surely 

I can't really quite get it through my thick head. You surely 
do not want me to make you an ofifer of marriage for the 
mere purpose of refusing me? Surely I am hard enough 
hit already without that. 

Annette. (Confused.) How could you think such a thing? 
I said nothing of the sort. I said I did not wish you to 
leave Clampton. 

Tanguay. But I told you I could not stay. 

Annette. But that reason I have not heard. (Mischiev- 
ously.) 

Tanguay. And I can't tell ! You don't want Nevers to 
feel too proud of himself. Do you like Lord Nevers? (With 
a sudden interest.) 

Annette. I don't think you have a right to ask that 
question. 

Tanguay. (Jealously.) I hate him. 

Annette. Lord Nevers is my guest. 

Tanguay. Yes, I know. Pardon me, but you must let me 



go. 



37 



Annette. Not until you have given me a good reason. 

Tanguay. Spare me ! 

Annette. (Smiling.) Surely, Lord Tanguay, now that I 
have frankly shown you what your abrupt leaving would 
indicate, you could not want to put me in a false position. 

Tanguay. You make it very hard for me, Miss Palmer- 
ston. (He walks away.) 

Annette. (Aside.) I can't let him go. I can't without 
something. Just one little word. 

Tanguay. (Returning.) I cannot say to you what I wish. 

Annette. Why not? 

Tanguay. Because you said it is not nice for you to hear 
things about your guests. 

Annette. You wish to abuse Lord Nevers? 

Tanguay. (Jealously.) You like him? Of course I would 
not abuse him. 

Annette. How do you know I like him? 

Tanguay. (Rashly.) You prefer him to me. 

Annette. (Severely.) You have no right to say that. In- 
deed you go too far. You are both my guests. I have hardly 
had time to like or dislike either of you. People do not 
rush to such violent conclusions in this age. That belongs 
to the time when they really wore coronets. Now, I have 
never seen either you or Lord Nevers in yours, so I cannot 
judge. Are they really so very becoming? (He notices the 
amusement in her voice and resents it.) 

Tanguay. I know I am a fool ! Surely I prove it often 
enough. 

Annette. I don't think anything of the sort, Lord Tanguay. 
But I must ask you to stay for my sake. 

Tanguay. (Looking at her curiously.) For your sake? 
Just to spare your feelings perhaps your pride. 

Annette. (Laughing.) Hardly my pride. Perhaps it 
would be better to say your pride. 

Tanguay. Oh ! I have no pride. 

Annette. (Tauntingly.) Just want to leave the field to 
the enemy? 

Tanguay. (Thinking.) Hang it, not to Nevers no. 

Oh ! please let me go. 

Annette. But what will the servants say? 

3« 



Tangiiay. Hang the servants! 

Annette. We often wish to, but a misguided government 
forbids. 

Tanguay. (Bursting out.) Miss Palmerston, don't you see 
you are driving me to desperation? Don't you see you are 
inflicting on me utter misery? Can't you learn that I cannot 
stand this much longer? Something will surely break. Oh! 
please do stop tormenting me this way. 

Annette. (Frightened, and rising.) Tormenting you, Lord 

Tanguay? I have no thought of tormenting you. I I 

do not even wish to put one thing in the way of your 
happiness. I I 

Tanguay. (Carried away by his love.) You don't, not one 
thing? 

Annette. (Gasping.) No not one thing. 

Tanguay. You can't mean it (She turns away.) I see 

you do not mean it. You think you have hurt me and you 
are sorry. Are you sorry? 

Annette. Sorry yes I am sorry. Yes sorry. 

Tanguay. (Bitterly.) Pity, just pity. I knew it was pity. 

Annette. Pity, no it isn't pity. 

Tanguay. Not pity, then for heaven's sake what is it. 

Annette. (Trembling.) I don't know. 

Tanguay. You don't know? 

Annette. (Dropping on a couch and beginning to sob.) 

No no. I don't know. (Silence. Tanguay gazes at her 

in bewilderment. She continues to sob, while he walks up 
and down.) 

Tanguay. (Stammering.) I am so sorry I hurt your feel- 
ings. I did not mean to do so. Please forgive me. 

(Annette tries to control herself.) I am just a man 

(Silence.) I want to be a decent man. (Silence.) I 

I want to be a good man but, hang it, it is very hard 

work. 

Annette. (Drying her tears.) Forgive me. Lord Tanguay, 
for beinc weak, but really it hurt to have you speak so. 

Tanguay. I am so sorry, forgive me. 

Annette. Of course I forgive you, but (Catching her 

breath.) you conclude too quickly that young women with 
money have no nerves. 

39 



Tanguay. Nerves? 

Annette. Why why yes. Nerves! vou men think 

we poor women, who have a little to live on, are just brazen 
Jezebels. And we are not! 

Tanguay. (Aghast.) I never thought anything of the 
kind. 

Annette. I am quite sure you did, in fact I know it. 

Tanguay. Miss Palmerston, you are unjust. 

Annette. Yes. call me names if you like. I know I deserve 



It. 



Tanguay. But, Aliss Palmerston. I simply protest. I had 
no such intention. I only want to please you. 
Annette. Then stay. 

Tanguay. Do you want me to remain when you under- 
stand so well why I came, and also what my honor requires 
of me? 
Annette. I want you to stay. 
Tanguay. You want me to stay for your sake? 
Annette. Yes, and also for your own. I do not want vou 
to be put m a false light. 

Tanguay. But if I stay I do put myself in a false light. 
Annette. I don't see how. 

Tanguay. Why I appear (Hesitating.) I appear to 

be seekmg vulgar wealth, and seem to think you are so 
cheap a woman that you would be willing to sell vourself 
for a title. 
Annette. You mean trade. Well I am not. 
Tanguay. I know you are not. Do you not then see if 
I stay I am putting you in that position? 

Annette. But I am accustomed to that. Everybody does 
that, one more does not count. 
Tanguay. But that is not the point, at least with me. 
Annette. Oh! you are not so unselfish then? 
Tanguay. By no means. 

Annette. (Brightening up.) Oh! then vou are going to 
tell me? 

Tanguay. (Exasperated.) Yes, I will tell you. You know 
I love you, and have made it quite plain enough. (Annette 
looks happy.) You have been determined to make me say 
It. and now I hope you are satisfied. 

40 



Annette. (Troubled.) I don't know that I am. 

Tanguay. I knew it, I knew it. You wished to complete 
the wreck. Well, I trust you will now let me go. For there 
is certainly no reason for me to remain. 

Annette. But you have not been refused yet! 

Tanguay. Miss Palmerston, do you wish so much to 
refuse me? 

Annette. No, indeed, I have no wish of that nature. 

Tanguay. But, then, what do you want? 

Annette. (Rising.) Lord Tanguay, there is one thing I 
do not want, I do not want your tin coronet. 

Tanguay. You affront me. 

Annette. Far from it. Don't ask me what I want. It 
doesn't sound nice for a woman to say she wants a man, 
but if I ever do marry, which seems extremely unlikely, I 
do want a man. Lord Tanguay, you have proved yourself 
a man. 

Tanguay. Miss Palmerston, I don't understand you 

don't mean you want me? (Hopeful.) 

Annette. You are not the only man in the world. 

Tanguay. (Downcast.) Yes, I know, yes, of course. Miss 
Palmerston, forgive me. 

Annette. (Impatiently.) Lord Tanguay, you do me the 
honor to say you are in love with me. Frankly I am glad 
of it. 

Tanguay. You are? (Puszled.) 

Annette. Yes, and I am proud of it. It will be one of 

my choicest memories. It will be something (Aside.) 

oh! he is hopeless; self-depreciation in a man is a mistake. 

Tanguay. (Bitterly.) I shall be one of a family portrait 
gallery. 

Annette. Oh! Lord Tanguay, did you ever love any other 
woman ? 

Tanguay. Never ! 

Annette. Well, I never loved any other man. 

Tanguay. Annette ! 

Annette. (Hastily and in confusion.) But that is not 
saying I love you. 

Tanguay. Oh! Annette, Annette! (Seizing her hand.) If 
you could care a little bit. Just a little bit for me. 

41 



Annette. Please let me go, oh! please. 

Tanguay. I can't. Tell me, can't you ever love me just 
a little? 

Annette. What is the use, you say you can never marry 
me. 

Tanguay. Yes, I know, but don't let us think of that now. 
Will you try? I know I am nothing at all. Just a poor fool 
who thought 

Annette. Yes, just a nice one. (They hear steps.) Hush. 

Tanguay. Just one word ! 

Annette. Oh! I cannot say now just a word. There is a 
reason. (Enter Nevers.) There! (She pushes him away 
just as Nevers sees them.) 

Nevers. Oh ! pardon me, I trust I am not interrupting 
you. (With a faint sneer.) 

Annette. No, indeed. Lord Tanguay was saying good-bye. 
I am trying to get him to remain. (The men glare at each 
other.) 

Nevers. I should not think you would find that very 
difficult. 

Annette. But I do. (Vivaciously.) I do indeed. He is 
quite obstinate. (Nevers smiles viciously.) 

Nevers. Do stay, Tanguay, don't go just yet. Stay and 
have some fun. 

Tanguay. (Shaking his fist at Nevers behind Annette^s 
back.) I don't know, but I will. Perhaps there will be 
more fun than you expect. 

Annette. Oh! I am so glad. Lord Tanguay, thank you. 

Tanguay. I will stay if you bid me. Now I will say good 
night. 

Annette. Good night. (Tanguay exit.) Well, Lord 
Nevers, I never dreamed men ever left the smoking room 
when they were once in it. 

Nevers. Tanguay left, why not I? (With meaning.) 

Annette. Oh! that was different. He was going away. 

Nevers. Oh! so soon, why should he be going away so 
soon? 

Annette. How can I know his reasons? 

Nevers. He must have given some excuse. 

42 



Annette. And if he did, Lord Nevers, why should you 
be interested to know? (With some surprise.) 

Nevers. I am not altogether sure I was interested, Miss 
Palmerston. In fact I was not. Tanguay is a good fellow. 
(With a slight accent of pity, which Annette notes and 
resents.) 

Annette. (Warmly.) Yes, a mighty good fellow. I like 
Lord Tanguay very much. 

Nevers. Ah! that is lucky for him. (Aside.) Poor chap, 
got left, and she is sorry. But why don't you sit down, Miss 
Palmerston? (She hesitates, and then sits.) 

Annette. Is it not getting late? 

Nevers. Not for grown ups. We have sent Tanguay to 
bed, now we can sit up a while. 

Annette. You seem to class me in the same antidiluvian 
class with yourself, Lord Nevers. 

Nevers. (Laughing.) Come now, that is a good joke. I 
suppose I do look a little old. Late nights do not keep 
away grey hairs. Now Tanguay, poor chap, in his lonely 
castle, goes to bed, I fancy, at nine. 

Annette. (Annoyed.) I don't see any reason for bringing 
Lord Tanguay up all the time. He has gone to bed, let him 
sleep. 

Nevers. (Pleased.) Yes, let him rest. We have other 
things to talk of, haven't we? 

Annette. Have we, what? 

Nevers. Well, I have. Perhaps I might interest you 
enough to think that you have. 

Annette. (Amused.) Do please try. 

Nevers. (Flattered as she sits down.) Yes, I will try. 
I may not succeed, but even the humblest may try, may they 
not? (Looking at her tenderly. Annette is silent.) You are 
not interested, perhaps? 

Annette. Oh! yes, I am. I was just waiting. 

Nevers. Well, you come among us. Miss Palmerston, and 
find a new world. (Somewhat patronizingly.) 1 presume the 
States do not appear just the same in your eyes as they did. 

Annette. Why not? 

Nevers. Oh ! here you have a civilization 

Annette. I think we are civilized in the States. 

43 



Nevers. I did not mean that. I meant you find here an 
older and riper 

Annette. You don't mean rotten? 

Nevers. (A little dashed.) Oh! a more complete 

eh I mean something that has reached its ideal has 

accomplished all that, which you in the States are aiming 
for. 

Annette. Yes, I know, I see. You think we are crude. 

Nevers. Well. yes. I suppose I do think, as a nation 
perhaps, your people have not yet acquired all the polish, 

the refinement, the subtle something, say say well, 

something final, complete eh well, something like our 

society, our nobility. 

Annette. No, I don't think we have. You don't mean 
we have got to the top, and are just ready to fall over 
the other side? 

Nevers. No, I don't mean that, of course not. You don't 
have to fall off the top of a mountain when you have once 
got to the top. 

Annette. No, but you have to climb down occasionally, 
when you want something to eat. 

Nevers. Haw haw Poor Tanguay ! I believe Lady 

Mary says she used to go hungry it was very sad, haw 

haw 

Annette. (Indignant.) Oh ! Lord Nevers, is your coronet 
made of tin? 

Nevers. Tin, my coronet made of tin? Good gracious. 
Miss Palmerston, what ever put that idea into your head? 

Annette. What is it made of? 

Nevers. My coronet? why, I don't know. I never saw it 
but once. 

Annette. (Appearing startled.) It wasn't in pawn? 

Nevers. Miss Palmerston, you affront me. 

Annette. Oh ! no. I don't. I didn't mean to. But you 
gave me such a surprise. One of our papers, they do say 
such horrid things, said so many of the nobility had to get 
their coronets out of pawn for the coronation, that when 
you said you had only seen it once. I was quite surprised 
out of my good manners. Do sit down. Lord Nevers, and 
forgive me. (He sits.) Now let us go back to the starting 

44 



point. You were kindly telling me how rotten no, I mean 

how very ripe, the English nobility is. Perhaps that is why 
they are so often plucked. 

Nevers. (Laughing.) Oh! I see you are just jollying. 
You American girls are the deuce, don't you know. (Ad- 
justing his eye glass.) 

Annette. (Sweetly.) Are we? 

Nevers. We never quite know how to take you. You say 
so much and mean so little. 

Annette. Oh! do we? Perhaps we say a great deal and 
mean a lot more. 

Nevers. Oh! no, not quite that, you couldn't do that. 
Annette. Why not? 

Nevers. One can't possibly mean such an awful lot, don't 
you know. 

Annette. Oh! (Significantly.) 

Nevers. (Self -complacently.) You undoubtedly have great 
things in the States, very great improvements in many ways. 

Of course we must ofttimes seem a little old-fashioned 

a little, I suppose, what you call behind the times. But, 
then, if our houses are not properly heated; Lady Mary can 

never get over the shivers she had at Tanguay. Haw 

haw. 

Annette. I don't think I would mind a cold castle if a 
warm heart went with it. 

Nevers. You wouldn't mind, oh ! aw must it be 

a castle? 

Annette. (Impatient.) It need not be anything, if there 
is only the warm heart. 

Nevers. Oh ! aw really how you Americans 

do go in for heat, don't you know. 

Annette. (Controlling herself.) Wie do rather like 
warmth. It seems rather a crude idea, I suppose. Cold 
calculation seems to go with a complete civilization, does it 
not? 

Nevers. Oh ! no, Miss Palmerston, not altogether. You 
quite misunderstand us. Now what you are pleased to call 
cold calculation is only a natural pride, a desire for some- 
thing above that which is common. 

45 



Annette. Do your peers always keep such noble senti- 
ments well in mind? 

Nevers. (Adjusting his glass.) Pretty generally, Miss 
Palmerston, pretty generally. You see (With a grand air) 
it would never do for us as a class to allow those beneath 
us 

Annette. What do you mean by "those beneath us," Lord 
Nevers ? 

Nevers. (With self-assurance.) Naturally the middle and 
lower classes. Every society, that is every well-ordered 
society has classes. Why, even you in your country have 
those you look down upon. 

Annette. I fear we do, but they usually deserve it. 

Nevers. Exactly, they deserve it. Not having the ad- 
vantages of culture and refinement they naturally show their 
imperfections, and so are incompetent to assume a command- 
ing place in society. You say, for instance, in marrying you 
would want a man. 

Annette. Oh! yes. of course. But I would not refuse a 
duke just because he was a duke, you know. 

Nevers. Refuse a duke ! (Aghast at the thought.) I 
should think not. 

Annette. But people have. 

Nevers. Refused a duke ! Impossible ! 

Annette. (With significance.) I happen to know it can be 
done. 

Nevers. You know it can be done. Really, Miss Palmer- 
ston. I cannot quite understand 

Annette. I see you cannot, so we will talk about something 
you can grasp more easily. 

Nevers. Grasp more easily? Oh! haw haw. 

Annette. You seem amused? 

Nevers. I am. Haw haw. So you refused the duke, 

haw haw. Poor duke. 

Annette. If you mean the Duke of Clampton, I did not. 
I did not have the opportunity. 

Nevers. No, oh! no, of course not. Qampton is out of 
the running. Of course I forgot. 

Annette. Out of the running, I don't understand? 

Nevers. Married already, they say, something common. 

46 



Annette. How sad! 

Nevers. Yes, very sad, very indeed. Such opportunities! 
Yes, very sad. 

Annette. Opportunities. What opportunities? 

Nevers. Being a duke don't you know. Only a few 

dukes. Mostly picked up by Americans. But aside from his 
title Clampton isn't much. 

Annette. He is not much to look at. 

Nevers. No, not much ! Little man. (Draws himself up, 
supremely conscious of his fine figure.) Not a man, ha 

Annette. Not quite. He came to see me. Something about 
the place, he said. He remained rather long. I referred him 
to my agent. But it had no effect on him. 

Nevers. Haw haw. Clampton is rather dull. 

Annette. I did not know he was married or I might have 
been rather more polite. In fact I felt rather sorry for him. 

Nevers. Sorry for him ! Sorry for a duke ! Really you 
Americans are a most extraordinary people. 

Annette. But he looked so poor. 

Nevers. Poor! I am surprised! Why he ruins himself 
with clothes. 

Annette. Exactly, it seemed so sad for him to put all his 
money into dress and have to rent his home. Besides, his 
clothes made him look so insignificant. It was really pitiable. 
I thought of Crecy and Agincourt and wondered how those 
good old warriors would have dropped off their horses had 
they ever seen their miserable descendent. 

Nevers. Miss Palmerston, you certainly are original. I 
should never have supposed anyone would have thought of 
that. It is no wonder he is so taken with that music hall 
singer. They say she is quite common. 

Annette. But I thought you just said something about 
being able to look down upon the middle classes. 

Nevers. Oh! aw now did I? Well, you see we 

don't always quite live up to our position. It is true. Miss 
Palmerston, that some of us lapse. Not all. Now dukes, 
you know, have a little too much rein. They sometimes 

forget their position. But we lesser ones well, we try 

to be men. (Straightening his figure.) Such men as you 
yourself might admire. 



Annette. But, Lord Nevers, if you have gained the idea 
that I want to marry marry a guardsman's uniform 

Nevers. No, no, not a uniform, no, not a uniform, but the 
man under it. 

Annette. I don't quite see, Lord Nevers, where you gained 
the idea that I wanted to marry at all. 

Nevers. Marry why marry, we must all marry, it is 

the lot of man. 

Annette. You mean the fate of women. 

Nevers. Haw haw well, how many women are 

ready to meet their fate, haw haw. Quite rush to it, 

don't you know. Really you American girls have such a 
delightful sense of humor. Really that sounds just like Joan 
of Arc haw haw. 

Annette. (Smiling.) I am sorry if you think I have any 
desire to be a martyr, I haven't. 

Nevers. No, no, of course not. We could never let you. 
You come among us as our guest. We would never make 
you a martyr. 

Annette. (With malice.) Thank you, Lord Nevers, for 
that. I now feel safe. 

Nevers. Safe! why, bless you, you are quite safe with 
us. (Getting nearer.) You don't really know. Miss Palmer- 
ston, how deep an interest we all take in you. 

Annette. You are so kind. 

Nevers. We mean to be kind. We all mean to be kind, 
and some wish, perhaps, to be kinder than the others. 

Annette. (Pleasantly.) That is nice, nobody dislikes 
kindness. 

Nevers. (Much encouraged.) I am sure, Miss Palmer- 
ston, I can hardly express the interest I take in you. 

Annette. Oh! well, if it is a great effort, don't do it. 

Nevers. But it is not an effort. 

Annette. Oh! I thought it was! What is it then? 

Nevers. It is haw haw well, it is not easy to 

put into words, that is, in the right words. You see things 

must be put into right words you know to make 

the proper impression. 

Annette. (A little frightened.) I think it is getting very 
late. Really 

48 



Nevers. Don't go. I assure you it is not late. 

Annette. But I think (Rising) you mistake. I am sure I 
heard the clock strike twelve. 

Nevers. But just stay a moment, I have something quite 
important to say to you 

Annette. I think I heard a step, hush ! I do. Goodnight, 
Lord Nevers, I hope you will sleep well. 

Nevers. But I may speak to you tomorrow? 

Annette. (Hastily.) Yes, tomorrow. (Exit, and Monte 
enters.) 

Nevers. Well ? 

Monte. I have tried to find you before, my lord. 

Nevers. You have learned something? 

Monte. Yes, my lord. 

Nevers. Well, out with it. 

Monte. Well, my lord, she isn't worth anything. 

Nevers. What, not worth anything? You h^ve made a 
mistake ! 

_ Monte. No, my lord, I have positive proof that some one 
IS paymg her bills. 

Nevers. Bills, you scoundrel, what do you mean? 

Monte. (Affronted.) I beg to remind your lordship I am 
not a servant. 

Nevers. Yes, yes, I know. But it is inconceivable. Some- 
one IS paymg her bills? Who would ever put up for Qamp- 
ton? I tell you, Monte, you are on the wrong track. 

Monte. No, I am sure. I have seen the proof with my 
own eyes. (Thinking.) Perhaps I can get the proof for a 
moment, but only for a moment. I am certain, my lord 
I know some one pays her bills. I will hurry. You remain 
here. Only just for a moment, for you to see (Evit ) 

Nevers. Heavens, what an escape! But it can't be 'true 
No man would ever put up for Clampton. Why, the idea 
is simply absurd. (Enter Mrs. Courtenay.) My dear I 
am so glad you came in. 

Mrs. Courtenay. I have wondered where you were I 
supposed you were doing your duty. So I did not hunt you 
up. I just saw Miss Palmerston going to bed. Oh f do tell 
me, did she accept you? 

Nevers. No, thank God, she didn't have the chance. 



49 



Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! Nevers, what a fool you are! You 
simply have got to get married. I actually cannot get the 
prince to give another penny. He is so mean. Actually gets 
my bills and adds them up. Could there ever be anything 
so low? 

Nevers. My dear damn the prince. 

Mrs. Courtenay. But I can't, you know that, and you can't 
either. Now what are you going to do? 

Nevers. Heaven knows, I had a jolly miss. 
Mrs. Courtenay. Do explain ! 

Nevers. She hasn't a penny ! Some one pays her bills. 
Mrs. Courtenay. (With a scream.) Oh ! never, never, it 
is impossible. It can't be! No, no, what with Qampton? 
I never heard of such a thing. Why, she has the very best 
of letters. Mrs. Bampton told me so. Not even a parvenue. 
Actually has money and isn't vulgar. Now don't tell me, 
Nevers. I know the world, she isn't that kind. 

Nevers. That kind ! There are all kinds. It is only money 
enough, my dear, you know that. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Now don't throw that at me. I do the 
best I can, but the prince is different. I tell you it isn't so. 
Nevers. Well, we will soon have the proof ! 
Mrs. Courtenay. The proof! what proof? 
Nevers. Why, Monte, my valet. He is really a detective, 
goes on that business. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Why, Nevers, you dear. I never sup- 
posed you had so much sense. 

Nevers. Oh! I don't think I am such an awful fool. 
(Enter Lady MaryJ Well, it is a nice chase you are in. 
Lady Mary. Chase ! Me in ! Lord Nevers, you surprise 

me. But then you never did anything else. What now 

what was I going to say? 

Nevers. Nothing, of course, you were only waiting for me 
to say it. 
Lady Mary. Well then, say it. 
Nevers. Your bird has flown. 

Lady Mary. My bird has flown ! How very odd ! I don't 
remember ever keeping a bird. My bird ! To be sure I have 
heard some one say Johnny was a bird. I did not know 

50 



just what they meant. Now I am quite sure that Johnny 
hasn't wings, now have you, Johnny? (IVho enters). 

Johnny. Not that I know of. Lady Mary. I'd fly well. 
I'd fly a lot better than Clampton ever did. 

Lady Mary. To be sure you would, Johnny. But now, 
what was I saying? 

Nevers. You were not saying, Lady Mary, I was saying, 
your goose is cooked. 
Lady Mary. My goose? Why, Johnny, where are you? 
Johnny. I'm no goose. 
Lady Mary. Well, I should think not. 
Nevers. But I have great news. 
All. News! Do tell, we can't wait. 

Nevers. We are all here under the greatest mistake. Miss 
Palmerston has no money at all. 
All. No money at all! 

Nevers. No, I have proof, or I will have it soon. 
All. Heavens, what an awful thing! 

Nevers. Yes, it is awful. To ask us here under false 

pretences. Simply it is not right. 

Mrs. Courtenay. But, Nevers, you have no proof as yet. 

Lady Mary. But I am at sea, what is it all about? I 

don't believe that Miss Palmerston has no money. It isn't 

so, I know it isn't so. Why, Tanguay 

Nevers. Undoubtedly knows all about it. He was going 
to leave in the morning. But will stay over to please Miss 
Palmerston. 
Lady Mary. And then, he has not compromised himself? 
Nevers. A man never compromises himself. 
Lady Mary. (Viciously.) Some men can't, they have got 
beyond it. 

Nevers. Ta ta Lady Mary. 

Lady Mary. I don't believe it. Mrs. Bampton told me 

Nevers. But, Lady Mary, you have not heard all. 
Lady Mary. I haven't. Pray what is all? 
Nevers. Some one is paying her bills. 
Lady Mary. (Screams.) Paying her bills ! Lord Nevers, 
I don't understand. I won't understand you. Where is 
Tanguay? Oh! where is he, such talk! And where is Mrs. 
Bampton, she knows. Oh! where is she? (Enter Monte.) 

51 



Monte. My lord. 

Nevers. Speak, Monte. 

Monte. I have here the proof. 

All The proof! 

Monte. Yes! Yes, the proof I promised. (To Nevers.) 
Shall I speak? 

Nevers. Yes, speak, we are all interested. 

Monte. I have here a check signed by someone for ten 
thousand pounds. 

Nevers. By whom? 

Monte. Must I tell? 

Lady Mary. Tell ! of course you must tell. But you must 
tell the truth. Tell me. Lord Nevers, what this all means. 

Nevers. Lady Mary, it simply means I came to this house 
with the understanding that I was to meet a great heiress. 

Lady Mary. Well, you have done that before. (With 
significance.) 

Nevers. True. (Paying no attention to her sneer.) But 
as great heiresses are rare I made up my mind to be quite 
sure just how great an heiress I was to meet. 

Lady Mary. A very delicate way of paying for your 
hospitality. 

Nevers. I can only plead the excuse of example. Lord 
Tanguay was here when I arrived. 

Lady Mary. But that was different. Tanguay has always 
led a decent life. 

Nevers. He has? Not inevitably a family trait. 

Lady Mary. (Angry.) Please go on. 

Nevers. I engaged a valet. He is supposed to have very 
wide open eyes. 

Lady Mary. In other words a detective. Proceed. 

Nevers. He has learned that some one pays Miss Palmer- 
ston's bills. 

Lady Mary. And who pays your bills? 

Nevers. I never talk finance with the ladies. 

Lady Mary. Oh! it isn't always nice, is it? Still they 
call themselves ladies. (With a glance around.) But that 
does not let us know who signed that check. Show it. (To 

MONTE.) 

Monte. I have the honor. (Lady Mary reads.) 
52 



Lady Mary. My God! 

All. What is it, do tell us what it is? 

Lady Mary. It isn't true, it isn't true. Oh ! where is Mrs. 
Bampton? Where is Tanguay? Say, Johnny, run quick, call 
Tanguay. He is in the smoking room. (Johnny exit.) 

Mrs. Courtenay. Let me see the check. (Takes it and 
Nevers looks on.) 

Together. Signed San Lucar ! 

Monte. You see, my lord, it is signed by the rich marquis. 

Nevers. And he has bought the place? 

Monte. I believe he has, my lord. I have reason to believe 
it. 

Lady Mary. But how did you get the check? 

Monte. I am not at liberty to say, my lady. 

Lady Mary. That miserable maid Jeanette. 

Monte. I cannot say, my lady, and I must have it at once. 
(Takes it and leaves.) 

Mrs. Courtenay. Did you ever see such a pack of fools 



as we are 



Nevers. I don't know. Filthy Lucre is coming. There 

may be something yet. Holy Lucre, Haw haw 

Funny it's only filthy lucre after all. Haw haw 

the world is very much the same haw haw . 

Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, we must not be too precipitate. 
It may be a mistake after all. (Enter Tanguay.) 

Tanguay. You want me? W'hat do you want me for at 
this time of night? 

Lady Mary. Oh ! Tanguay, it is such a mess ! I don't 
understand it, but Miss Palmerston has no money after all. 

Tanguay. Well, who cares? 

Lady Mary. But we all care, and, Tanguay, they say she 
does not pay her own bills that 

Tanguay. Well, what of that? 

Lady Mary. They say some one else pays them. 

Tanguay. I don't understand. 

Lady Mary. They say that her bills are paid by Holy 
Lucre. 

Tanguay. Holy Lucre! (Mystified.) who is Holy Lucre? 

Lady Mary. Why, you know, that enormously rich man, 
the Marquis of San Lucar. 

53 



Tanguay. The Marquis of San Lucar the Monte 

Christo that well— — 

Lady Mary. And, Tanguay, you know it isn't very 

nice. 

Tanguay. (In a rage.) Who dares to say that of Annette 
Palmerston ? 

Nevers. I do, Tanguay! You might as well give up the 
chase. 

Tanguay. (Rushing up to him, shaking his fist.) You 

you base, miserable sponge, you sponge you but 

decency forbids you you lie. 

Curtain. 



54 



ACT III. 

Scene. — The garden terrace next morning. Chairs and 

awnings, with hedge rows. Mrs. Courtenay enters 

right, and Nevers left. 

Mrs Courtenay. Oh ! Nevers, what an awful mess ! Really, 

I never made such a mistake in my life. I couldn't eat a 

thing, I was so upset. So I just threw on something and 

came for a walk. Everything upset, everything in chaos. 

Why, where shall I spend the next two weeks. (In despair.) 

Nevers. The next two weeks, why, right here, of course. 

No place could be better. Surely the food is good enough. 

It is for me. The chef gets two thousand pounds, and is 

worth it. 

Mrs. Courtenay. But, Nevers. you know I can't stay now, 
it is simply impossible. 
Nevers. I don't see why. 

Mrs. Courtenay. But, Nevers, think of my reputation. 
Nevers. (Surprised.) Your reputation your reputa- 
tion ! Don't you think, my dear, your reputation can take 
care of itself at this late day? 

Mrs. Courtenay. But. Nevers. what will the prince think? 

Nevers. The prince, oh ! I forgot. Well, Courtenay won't 
care, at any rate. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! Courtenay, he doesn't count. 

Nevers. I did not suppose the prince was so particular. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! he is just awful. Perfectly hates 
anything like a scandal. 

Nevers. Well, there isn't any scandal that is not yet. 

If we just keep still it will be all right. 

Mrs. Courtenay. But think of Tanguay making such a fool 
of himself. Lady Mary was awfully put out. 

Nevers. Oh! Tanguay is always like that. He thinks he 
has got all the virtue that's going, or pretends he has. I 
fancy, really, the poor chap was dreadfully upset to lose the 
prize. 

56 



Mrs. Courtenay. But, Nevers, it was a dirty trick passing 
herself off as a great heiress, and inviting a lot of respectable 

people 

Nevers. What did you say, my dear I didn't hear. 

Mrs. Courtenay. A lot of respectable people down here, 
and imposing upon society this way, I feel as though I would 
never speak to a new person again so long as I live. 

Nevers. (Shrugging his shoulders.) I never supposed you 
were so sensitive. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Sensitive ! I am not sensitive. But to 
be asked to spend a fortnight by a a 

Nevers. An heiress, is really unusual. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Now, Nevers, you needn't talk to me 
that way. I have my position to keep up, and you know the 
prince would never for a moment stand this. Besides, some- 
thing has got to be done for the public. What an example 
this would be if it were known. Why, I quite shiver when 
I think of the consequences, if it should ever get out. I 
tell you I must go. You are a man, you have no reputation 
to maintain. 

Nevers. Thank you, you are right. I found the sooner 
I got rid of mine the easier it was. And, by gad, I have 
not only had a better time of it, but I really fancy I am more 
respected. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Respected. Silly word ! That will do for 
middle class people. 

Nevers. But, my dear, don't be rash. You have no place 
to go to. 

Mrs. Courtenay. I could choke that Bampton woman. 

Nevers. You have done very well with her. She has let 
you in for several good things. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, I know. Fortunately she has never 
let me in for such a thing as this before, and Miss Palmer- 
ston looks so like a lady 

Nevers. She is a lady, every inch a lady. Don't you call 
yourself a lady? 

Mrs. Courtenay. (Tossing her head.) To be sure I do. 

Nevers. Well ahem ! 

57 



Mrs. Courtenay. You mean the prince. You are always 
throwing him at me. You know yourself he doesn't count, 
he is royalty. 

Nevers. To be sure. Everything on its own plane. Now, 
why isn't this Holy Lucre, or Filthy Lucre, just about as 
good? They say he has money enough to buy up all the 
royal houses in Europe. It is quite wonderful how much 
he is worth. 

Mrs. Courtenay. (Reflecting.) There is a good deal in 
what you say. 

Nevers. They say even the Czar has no larger income. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Nevers ! 

Nevers. Fact! I can't just say what are the figures, but 
it is simply enormous. They say he owns small kingdoms, 
kingdoms not even worked. His old uncle was very wise 
in his day and bought up quantities of seemingly useless 
property. 

Mrs. Courtenay. And it can be developed? 

Nevers. Of course. I am going to stay. You didn't 
think I came here for my health? 

Mrs. Courtenay. I'll stay too. 

Nevers. Why not? San Lucar is worth a whole bunch of 
princes. 

Mrs. Courtenay. But the position 

Nevers. (Quizically.) The position, what do you mean? 

Mrs. Courtenay. Don't be silly, the social position. 

Nevers. I never knew anyone to lack social position if he 
or she had enough money and knew how to use it. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Oh ! yes I have. 

Nevers. Well, then, they didn't use it enough. 

Mrs. Courtenay. I say. Nevers, you are a devil. 

Nevers. (Complacently.) Yes, my dear, that is why you 
like me. 

Mrs. Courtenay. You don't think you are a good judge 

of women. 

Nevers. (Quizzically.) I don't as as rule. It is laborious 
and usually useless. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Well, think now. You don't think I am 
so very unattractive? 

58 



Nevers. Unattractive, gracious, woman, what are you talk- 
ing about? Haven't you got the prince crazy? And haven't 
you made a complete conquest of 

Mrs. Courtenay. (Eagerly.) Of a man whom 

Nevers. Most women, oh ! well I really can't say it. 

(Straightening himself up.) To whom most women are not 
entirely indifferent. 

Mrs. Courtenay. You conceited thing ! But I think you 
are right. (Sitting down and fanning herself with a paper 
lying near.) 

Nevers. Now look here, my dear, the game is not up yet. 
We are well entrenched, it is a secret known only to a few, 
that San Lucar pays the bills. If we always looked too 
closely whence comes our bread and butter, for instance most 
kitchens, we would not eat. Now, we must eat, so we choose 
the most tempting viands that come in our way. We eat, 
therefore we live ! 

Mrs. Courtenay. True! 

Nevers. Now, I prefer to live well. To quarrel with our 
food means indigestion at least. Physicians say, eat with a 
happy mind and a contented spirit, I do ! To quarrel to 
the breaking point means starvation. Only fools starve ! 

Mrs Courtenay. True. Then you think 

Nevers. I never think, I simply eat, when eating comes 
my way. Naturally to think might disturb my digestion in 
my distressed financial condition. And to be able to think 
at the proper moment requires the very best stomachic 
equipment. 

Mrs. Courtenay. But then, to come down to facts. If the 

prince and some one else who really knows a fine woman 

when he sees one 

Nevers. I never come down to fact. To come down to 

fact is to grovel. I never grovel. I eat if the chef gets 

two thousand pounds and I wait Under those circum- 
stances it is easy and usually best, 

Mrs. Courtenay. And we will wait? 

Nevers. Why not? Mrs. Bampton enjoys the very best 
of reputations. In fact her figure is a sworn document. 
She is your sponsor. Lady Mary is most highly born. She 

59 



does William the Conqueror, the fellow we brag of, one 
better, her parents were married. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! never mind that. It seems so un- 
important in these days when the peerage is not even like a 
wise child. 

Nevers. Then, we have never seen the check signed by 
San Lucar? 

Mrs. Courtenay. No, never, certainly not. (They both 
laugh.) How about Tanguay? 

Nevers. Oh! Lady Mary will take care of him. He is 
an enthusiast. Goes in for the purity of the lower classes 

Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, we must do what we can for them, 
of course. The prince would wish it. In fact he is very 
keen about it. 

Nevers. Of course, of course! (Enter Johnny and Baby, 
who appear surprised.) 

Mrs. Courtenay. Why, Baby, you here. 

Baby. Yes, mamma, I never thought to see you. (Still 
surprised.) I never knew you to get up so early. 

Mrs. Courtenay. Just business, my dear. Well, Johnny, 
what are you doing here? 

Johnny. Just business! (Meaningly. Mrs. Courtenay 
looks angry.) 

Baby. Mamma, it was such a nice morning and Johnny 
actually got up to breakfast, and I actually got up to break- 
fast, and so we met, wasn't it funny? 

Mrs. Courtenay. (Suspiciously.) Yes, very. 

Baby. And, mamma, did you and Lord Nevers just get 
up for breakfast? 

Mrs. Courtenay. (Impatient.) No, of course not. we only 
met out here. We have business to talk over. So I think, 
Nevers, we will take a little stroll. (Exeunt.) 

Baby. Isn't it funny we all just happened to meet? 
(Laughing.) I like to just happen to meet, don't you, Johnny? 

Johnny. I like to just happen to meet you! But I think. 
Baby, you said when I left you in the conservatory you 
would be down to breakfast. 

Baby. Did I? How imprudent! Mamma would scold me 
if she knew. 



Johnny. Well, she will never know. By the way, there 
was an awful row in the library after you went to bed. 

Bahy. Row, and I wasn't there, Johnny? Why didn't you 
call me? 

Johnny. I didn't quite find out myself. All I know was 
Lady Mary came out in a towering rage and Tanguay looked 
like murder. They sent me after Tanguay and I got in 
just too late, but I heard him say — "Nevers, you lie." 

Baby. How awful ! 

Johnny. Yes, you must never say to a man he lies, for 
he generally does, and there is absolutely nothing so rude 
as the truth. 

Baby. Yes, I hate the truth. If nobody ever told the 
truth I could be so happy. 

Johnny. You could, sweetheart? Suppose I never told you 
I loved you? 

Baby. I shouldn't care. You needn't blab everything you 
know to me. I can see some things for myself. 

Johnny. Yes, so can I. But don't you like to hear it once 
in a while? 

Baby. I don't know. Do you know I get so tired hearing 
people say it that I sometimes wish I could never hear it 
again. 

Johnny. You do? Then I won't say it any more! 

Baby. (Reflectively.) Well, you see, old Bampton is 
always saying the same thing, 

Johnny. He is? 

Baby. Yes, he is just an old fool anyway. He doesn't 
mean a word he says. 

Johnny. He doesn't? 

Baby. No, he just says those things because he says it 
seems to be expected in my family, and he wants to keep 
up to the mark and not be rude. 

Johnny. Oh! in your family? 

Baby. Yes, I haven't an idea what he means, but it seems 
to be rather common, now I think of it. Nobody ever talks 
anything else. Even the Reverend Houghton was talking 
love the other day. I didn't exactly listen, but I suppose it 
was the same old thing. 

Johnny. What, the meenister? 

61 



Baby. They can't help it ! I heard mamma say it was 
love that made the world go round. It seemed a nice senti- 
ment, so I remembered it. 
Johnny. You always remember nice sentiments? 
Baby. Always, when they have anything to do about love. 
Johnny. Oh ! but. Baby, don't listen to anyone but me. 
Baby. I never do ! But I forgot, what was Lord Tanguay 
so mad about? 
Johnny. I don't know, some foolishness. 
Baby. But Jeanette was so funny this morning. She said 

Meester Monte, as she calls him, was that perky 

Johnny. Perky? What has he got to be perky about? 

Baby. She said he was putting on all those airs, and 

laughed and laughed at her so, that she was quite disturbed. 

Johnny. Well, Lady Mary sent me out last night on the 

jump to find Tanguay, and I hadn't much chance to know 

what it was all about, some deviltry of Nevers, I'll bet. 

Baby. Don't speak that way of Lord Nevers. He's 
mamma's friend. 

Johnny. Yes, I know that. (Enter Bampton.) Ah! what's 
up, old chap? 

Bampton. Eh! up? I don't understand. My temper will 
be up if you call me old chap. 

Johnny. Never mind, we are just pals. Say, what hap- 
pened last night? 

Bampton. Happened last night I Good heavens, did any- 
thing happen? 

Johnny. Well, I should say so. Where were you? Were 
you asleep? 

Bampton. I, why I I was now where was I? 

Johnny. Well, never mind, something big has happened. 
I heard something about a check, and Tanguay told Nevers 

he lied, and Nevers laughed 

Baby. Of course he laughed! It must have been so funny 
to have anyone tell him that. Why, he must have known it 
already. 
Johnny. Oh ! Baby, what are you talking about ? 
Baby. He does lie at times, he says so himself. We all do! 
Johnny. Why, Baby! 
Bampton. You little moral wretch! 

(52 



Baby. Call me names if you like. I don't care. I don't, so 
there. 

Johnny. Something about a check, and Tanguay got mad, 
and when I asked Lady Mary afterwards she was so rude 
as to say children should be seen and not heard. So I went 
to bed. 

Baby. Wtisn't she rude? 

Bam p ton. If something is up I must go and tell the old 
lady. She will soon find it out. (Exit.) 

Baby. Yes do, we are busy. Now, Johnny, tell me all 
about it. Whose check was it? I do so love checks, don't 
you? 

Johnny. Yes, when they are big enough. 

Baby. Was this big? 

Johnny. Ten thousand pounds, made out to Miss Palmer- 
ston. (Baby falls off her chair and Johnny catches her.) 

Baby. Please be more careful, Johnny, don't give me such 
awful shocks. When you have anything startling break it 
to me gently. Ten thousand pounds, why it would give 
mamma hysterics if anyone sent her ten thousand pounds. 
(Enter Houghton.) Now for a sermon! (Baby straightens 
up and looks very solemn.) 

Eloughton. Did I hear you say anything about ten 
thousand pounds ? 

Baby. Yes, Johnny was telling me a fairy tale. 

Houghton. A fairy tale? You still like fairy tales? 

Baly. Oh ! yes, when they have got a lot of money in 
them. 

Houghton. Money in them ! Then you, child, are already 
thinking about money? 

Baby. Money, why yes. Don't you ever think about 
money? Only just heaven? 

I-Joughton. I sometimes have to think about it, I must 
confess. 

Baby. I thought meenisters never thought about the world 
or anything naughty. That is why I like them so much. 

Houghton. Then you like meenisters? 

Baby. Yes, when they tell nice fairy stories. I like to 
go to church when the meenister preaches about Ruth and 
Boas. 

63 



Houghton. You do? 

Baby. Yes, for I am sure Ruth was an English woman. 

Houghton. You are? 

Baby. Hu hu she went in for the richest old chap 

going. 

Houghton. My dear! 

Baby. Don't call me my dear, every man calls me that, 
and if you do it will interfere with your ministerial character. 

Houghton. (Somewhat shocked.) But what was the story 
about ten thousand pounds? 

Baby. It was a fairy story. No one ever really has ten 
thousand pounds at one time, 

Houghton. Are you sure? 

Baby. Quite sure. If mamma has a hundred pounds all 
at one time she feels quite rich. I have heard her say so. 

And ten thousand pounds why it would kill her. (Turns 

to Johnny.) 

Houghton. Ten thousand pounds! What is up? Ten 

thousand pounds! Let me think. I but it cannot 

be. Now, Miss Courtenay, don't talk fairy talk to that young 
man all the time. (Exit.) 

Baby. Didn't he act funny? I suppose he never heard 
of ten thousand pounds. It must be dreadful to be so poor 
as never to have seen money. Do you know, Johnny, I feel 
quite happy just thinking of it. Say it some more. 

Johnny. Ten thousand pounds. 

Baby. Say it slower. 

Johnny. Ten thou sand pounds. 

Baby. There, that is good. Oh ! here come the Bamptons. 
(They run off. Enter Mr. and Mrs. Bampton.) 

Mrs. Bampton. (Horrified.) And you say something is 
up. Good gracious ! And Tanguay told Nevers he lied, what 
awful manners ! 

Bampton. (Eagerly.) Yes, and if you don't watch out the 
whole party will turn out in a row. 

Mrs. Bampton. A row, why I never heard of such a thing. 
At a party I got up myself! Now, Bampton, you are always 
in the clouds, just come down to earth and explain. 

64 



Bampton. My dear, that little scamp had Johnny in a 
corner as usual and he was relating something about a ten 
thousand pound check 

Mrs. Bampton. Ten thousand pound check ! Absurd, 
people don't draw ten thousand pound checks, unless they 
are dealing in stocks. 

Bampton. Well, at any rate there was this check drawn 
for ten thousand pounds, and Nevers said something about 
it and Tanguay told him he lied. 

Mrs. Bampton. And Nevers, what did he do? 

Bampton. Just laughed ! 

Mrs. Bampton. Just like him, he would laugh if he were 
going to be hanged. What did I have him asked for? ^ 

Bampton. To please the Courtenay woman, of course. 

Mrs. Bampton. Oh ! yes, I know I had to. One can't get 
on without her. Oh ! what shall I do ? A scandal, and it 
will get out and into the papers, and then I will be in a 
nice position. But I must find out at once. Oh! here is 
Lady Mary. (Lady Mary enters.) I am so glad you are 
up. Do tell us what is the matter. 

Lady Mary. (Severely.) Matter, well you ought to know 
if anyone does. 

Mrs. Bampton. I know? I haven't an idea what you are 
talking of. Here is Bampton going around like a hen with 
her head cut off. 

Bampton. (Sadly.) But poor thing she has lost her 
head 

Mrs. Bampton. So you have, apparently. 

Lady Mary. I really do not feel equal to telling you. I 
am so shocked 

Mrs. Bampton. (Shocked.) What is it? 

Lady Mary. It is simply but I can't say it 

I can't. (Sinks into a seat.) 

Bampton. (Earnestly.) Then write it. 

Lady Mary. (Gasping.) Mrs. Bampton you got us here. 

Mrs. Bampton. Yes. my dear, of course, but I do not 
understand. 

Lady Mary. What kind of a woman is she? 

Mrs. Bampton. (Astonished.) She she what she? 

65 



Lady Mary. Oh ! you know. You must know, you are in 
the plot, you must be 

Mrs. Bampton. Plot (Screams.) plot, a plot you 

don't mean murder? 

Lady Mary. Yes I do. (Mrs. Bampton again screams.) 
It is as good as murder. I was never placed in such a 
position in my life. I must leave at once. I really must, I 
must get right out. (Rises.) 

Mrs. Bampton. If you don't tell me I shall die! 

Bampton. Wait, dear, until we get some definite news. 

Lady Mary. And she looks so innocent. I will never trust 
anyone again so long as I live. Such a night ! Heavens what 
an escape Tanguay has had. 

Mrs. Bampton. Lady Mary, you must speak, 

Bampton. You really must to save life. 

Lady Mary. That check that check. 

Mrs. Bampton. Check? There, Bampton, it was the check. 

Bampton. (Eagerly.) For ten thousand pounds 

Lady Mary. (Shuddering.) Yes, for ten thousand pounds, 
that was it. 

Mrs. Bampton. What was the matter with the check, 
wasn't it good? 

Lady Mary. (Trying to keep up.) Yes, it was good, 
much too good. 

Mrs. Bampton. But I can't see anything very bad about a 
ten thousand pound check. 

Lady Mary. It was made out to your friend. 

Mrs. Bampton. My friend ! 

Lady Mary. Yes, to Miss Palmerston, 

Bampton. But I don't see anything strange about that. 

Mrs. Bampton. No, she must have money, why not? 

Lady Mary. (Pulling herself together.) But it was signed 
by Filthy Lucre. 

Bampton. Filthy Lucre, why, that's a joke. Of course 
we all know ten thousand pounds is filthy lucre. 

Lady Mary. (Gasping.) I mean Holy Lucre. 

Bampton. Well, I should think you perhaps would be more 
likely to call it holy lucre, it is your god, I believe. Quite 
right ! 

66 



Lady Mary. (Recovered and giving Bampton a crushing 
look.) I mean it was signed by the Marquis of San Lucar. 

Both Bamptons. The Marquis of San Lucar, the rich man 
from South America. 

Lady Mary. (Savagely.) Yes, by him. 

Mrs. Bampton. Well, I suppose he can sign checks if he 
wishes. 

Lady Mary. But it is to pay Miss Palmerston's bills. 

Mrs. Bampton. (Dense.) Paying her bills, I suppose some 
one is paying her bills. 

Lady Mary. (Contemptuously.) That is just it. I see you 
are one of the conspirators, and I shall never forgive you 
for getting me and Tanguay into this awful scrape. Why, 
I simply shudder when I think of it ! 

Mrs. Bampton. Really, (Indignant.) Lady Mary, I must 
demand an explanation. I still fail to see what you are 
trying to insinuate, and I do not mind saying, after the years 
I have known you, I am greatly surprised. 

Lady Mary. (Pausing in her wrath.) You don't see? 
How can you help but see? 

Mrs. Bampton. I may be dull, but I do not see. I only 
know you make the most unwarrantable insinuations, and 
have apparently no ground for making them. 

Lady Mary. (Impatiently.) Do you not see you have 
introduced to us a young woman as of unimpeachable 
character, as a great heiress, and got us all here as her 
guests (Hesitating.) 

Mrs. Bampton. Yes, I see all that, it is quite true. 

Lady Mary. But last night I saw with my own eyes the 
check signed by Filthy Lucre. 

Mrs. Bampton. But what does that mean? I do not 
believe that Miss Palmerston knows the Holy Lucre, as you 
call him. If she does it is no offence. She may have 
business relations with him, that is none of my affair. Pray 
how did you learn all this? 

Lady Mary. From Lord Nevers and Mrs. Courtenay. 

Mrs. Bampton. Now really. Lady Mary, from your own 
conversation I have learned they are hardly reliable witnesses. 

Lady Mary. It does not matter so much about their re- 
liability as about what they will report. People will believe 

67 



what they say while they may not believe in them. Such is 
life and such is society! 

Bampton. It is very strange, very strange. I felt some- 
thing very strange when I came into this house. 

Mrs. Bampton. Oh ! you are always feeling things. Every- 
thing except your indebtedness. You let me feel that. 

Bampton. Huh what did you say. Oh ! why don't you 

ask Miss Palmerston herself who pays her bills? 

Mrs. Bampton. (With contempt.) Ask her that! I trust 
I am a lady. 

Lady Mary. It certainly would not be an easy undertaking. 
She seems to have a very cutting way of replying. 

Mrs. Bampton. Yes, she is very clever, and very quick. 
To say anything to her would surely bring some disagreeable 
reply. I can't do it. Especially with her recommendations. 

Lady Mary. Then I will. Something must be done ! We 
can't all leave without some explanation. 

Mrs. Bampton. I certainly intend to stay. W5th a clergy- 
man and his wife, both old friends, with her, I consider her 
amply protected. 

Lady Mary. Clergyman and his wife, forsooth ! What 
do they count for? I have known bishops quite ignore the 
whole moral law when money or royalty was implicated. 

Mrs. Bampton. You don't mean it? How dreadful! 
What in heaven's name are they for, then ? 

Lady Mary. I never could see unless it was to keep sinners 
in society by their countenance. Religion has always con- 
demned sin, but coddled the sinner. 

Mrs. Bampton. Dreadful, dreadful. But here comes Miss 
Palmerston. I leave you to her tender mercies. If you are 
living when you get through with her we will talk some more. 
That horrid Nevers. (Enter Miss Palmerston, and exit 
Mr. and Mrs. Bampton, on opposite sides.) 

Miss Palmerston. Good morning. Lady Mary. How very 
fresh and beautiful it is? I do love the English life, it is 
so pure and sweet. 

Lady Mary. (Severely.) That depends upon who leads it. 

Miss Palmerston. Leads it ! (Surprised.) 

Lady Mary. Yes, it isn't always pure and sweet, as some 
people lead it. 

68 



Miss Palmerston. Oh ! I hadn't thought, perhaps not. By 
the way, have you had breakfast? 

Lady Mary. Some time ago, I did not eat much. 

Miss Palmerston. Perhaps not enough. Your digestion 
may be impaired by starvation. 

Lady Mary. My digestion is very good. It is my mind 
that is disturbed. 

Miss Palmerston. (Noticing her hostile attitude, and some- 
what amused.) Your mind? Does it disturb you often? 

Lady Mary. Miss Palmerston, do you ever think of sin? 

Miss Palmerston. Of sin? Yes, of course. Mr. Houghton 
frequently alludes to it. 

Lady Mary. I don't care anything about Mr. Houghton; 
he is a humbug. 

Miss Palmerston. A humbug, (Severely.) pray explain. 

Lady Mary. I mean all clergymen are humbugs. 

Miss Palmerston. (Sarcastically.) You have been un- 
fortunate, you have not met the right kind. 

Lady Mary. (Severely.) Bishops 

Miss Palmerston. Oh ! I quite understand. Well, you see 
Mr. Houghton is not a bishop, that gives him a chance. 

Lady Mary. Mr. Houghton condones offences 

Miss Palmerston. I am surprised. I always thought him 
very severe on sin. 

Lady Mary. Social offences 

Miss Palmerston. But those are quite his hobby. He is 
very bitter, very bitter indeed, on high class sin. Sometimes 
he makes me feel quite guilty. 

Lady Mary. He does? Then why don't you reform? 

Miss Palmerston. (Bewildered.) Reform! Have I taken 
to drink?' I didn't know it. 

Lady Mary. You know what I mean, where do you get 
your money? 

Miss Palmerston. (Startled.) My money! Really 

Lady Mary. (Seeing her advantage.) Yes, where do you 
get your money. 

Miss Palmerston. Really! (Recovering herself.) your 
question seems to me very unusual. Is it customary for 
ladies to enquire, when they are visiting a house, to enter 
into the domestic details 



Lady Mary. (Baffled.) It is generally understood where 
the money comes from. 

Miss Palmerston. Then, when you visit certain ducal 
families do you insist upon going back into history and 
unearthing the various transactions by which historical 
peeresses gained their wealth? 

Lady Mary. (Impatient.) We let the dead bury their 
dead. 

Miss Palmerston. I see! The inability of the dead to 
perform that gracious task is why history is so redolent with 
unpleasantness. 

Lady Mary. I don't understand you. But I think I have 
a right to know just how you have gained the money you 
are said to possess. 

Miss Palmerston. (Affronted.) And I think you have no 
such right. Had you not wished to accept my invitation you 
were quite at liberty to decline it. You are also now quite 
at liberty to reconsider your previous mistake. I feel called 
upon to detail my affairs to no one. 

Lady Mary. (Frightened and fearing she has made a 
mistake.) I beg your pardon, of course. As your guest I 
owe you much courtesy, and I was hasty ; but certain things 
said to me last night have disturbed my equanimity. Per- 
haps, as you suggested, I did not eat enough this morning. 
(Annette hows and goes out. Enter Tanguay.) 

Tanguay. Oh ! has she gone ? 

Lady Mary. Just left, she saw you coming. 

Tanguay. Why did she go? I want to see her. 

Lady Mary. (Severely.) She probably does not want to 
see you. 

Tanguay. Poor girl, and she doesn't know the vipers she 
is housing. 

Lady Mary. She apparently does not want your pity. It 
has been a lucky escape. Tanguay. I am glad we found her 
out in time. 

Tanguay. (Furious.) You believe that lie? 

Lady Mary. I saw the check ! 

Tanguay. You saw a check. Just from that check you 
conclude, or that beastly Nevers concludes, that San Lucar 
is paj'ing her bills. I tell you it is all a lie a lie. 

70 



Lady Mary. You are violent, Tanguay, you are very 
violent. I never saw you in such a state before. 

Tanguay. You never saw me in love before. 

Lady Mary. In love, you are not in love with Miss 
Palmerston ? 

Tanguay. I love the very ground she walks on. 

Lady Mary. (Scornfully.) That that 

Tanguay. Stop, Mary! I tell you to stop! That girl is 
as pure as the sky above her. 

Lady Mary. Fortunately you can't marry her. 

Tanguay. I would marry her this minute if she were poor, 
this very minute. 

Lady Mary. (Screams.) Marry her if she were poor? 
Tanguay, you are crazy ! 

Tanguay. Never so sane in my life. This beastly wretched 
thing called money debases us all. It makes us cowards. 
It has made Nevers a rascal. It makes you a designing, 
cold-blooded female who hasn't even a right to call herself 
a woman 

Lady Mary. Tanguay, Tanguay, you are simply daft. I 
never heard you talk so before. 

Tanguay. You have never heard the truth. I have always 
thought it. and now I say it. You, who should have been a 
loving, helpful sister to me, you, older and more experienced 
than I, you, vv'ho should have put the better things of life in 
an attractive guise, you, who should have taught as my mother 
would have taught me, have dried up that spring of youthful 
enthusiasm, that love of the noble and right, and made me a 
base self seeker, looking only for money, money, and never 
for honor and uprightness. I know it now, and I knew it 
then, but, before God, I tell you now I will not endure it 
any longer. I will not blast everything in man to suit a 
worldly woman's whim. I have found a noble woman, I 
shall worship her so long as I may live. 

Lady Mary. (Aghast.) Even if the Marquis of San Lucar 
does pay her liills? (Annette enters.) 

Annette. Good morning, Lord Tanguay. How warm you 
look. 

Tanguay. (Embarrassed.) Do I? It's the heat. 

71 ; 



Annette. (Sweetly.) You seemed excited as I saw you 
in the distance. 

Tanguay. I was telling my sister what a 

miserable world this is. 

Annette. (Surprised.) Indeed, both you and Lady Mary 
seem quite upset about something. Have you had your 
breakfast? 

Tanguay. Yes, but I did not eat very much. 

Annette. The same trouble, incipient starvation. Lady 
Mary makes the same complaint. I am quite sure. Lady 
Alary, that is the trouble. I am so sorry my cook does 
not please you. I will speak to him. (Starts to go but 
Tanguay detains her.) 

Lady Mary. And I will continue my walk. Perhaps. 
Tanguay, you will reconsider your words when you think 
the matter over. (Exit.) 

Tanguay. How fresh and rosy you look this morning I 

Annette. (Smiling.) Do I? Well, to tell the truth, it is 

a glorious morning, and everything seems to smile 

everything but you are not looking well. 

Tanguay. (Turning away perplexed.) I did not get much 
sleep. 

Annette. (Somewhat concerned.) Our little talk upset 
you? 

Tanguay. No, it was not that. 

Annette. Something else? 

Tanguay. Yes, something else. 

Annette. I am so sorry. And I woke up very happy this 
morning. It seems as though the whole world was singing. 
(Tanguay looks at her with a sad smile.) 

Tanguay. Yes, it is singing for you. It should sing for 
you. Let the world sing while it can. The time may come 
when it will not. Life is not always a smile, at least not to 
every one. 

Annette. You speak mysteriously. Perhaps I did wrong 
to ask you to stay. 

Tanguay. No, you did quite right. I am very glad I 
stayed. 

Annette. I felt you would. Now we can forget little 
unpleasantnesses and enjoy ourselves. In spite of your break- 

72 



fast or your lack of one just indulge me by a little smile. 
(He smiles.) Oh ! not that kind of a smile, a joyous smile. 
(He tries.) Well, that is better, but it lacks the background. 
It is like a ray of sunshine with a thunderstorm just ready 
to break. Can't I lend you some of my joyous spirits? 
And I do feel so happy. (She plays with the flowers.) He 
clinches his hands and he watches her.) 

Tanguay. (Aside.) And I can't tell her, can't tell her 
the demons she is harboring under her roof. 

Annette. What, still sad? 

Tanguay. I didn't sleep much last night. 

Annette. Not sleep? Did my insistence upon your re- 
maining keep you awake? 

Tanguay. No. 

Annette. What did, then? Was I unkind? 

Tanguay. No indeed I 

Annette. (Coaxingly.) You won't tell me? 

Tanguay. I cannot. 

Annette. You are unhappy, and you will not tell why? 
I am happy 

Tanguay. You have no reason to be otherwise. 

Annette. (Pausing.) Last night I thought I had no reason 
to be otherwise. The sun shone out here, and also in my 
heart 

Tanguay. Then let it shine. 

Annette. (Pleading.) I want it to, I do want the sun- 
shine, but 

Tanguay. Enjoy it while you can. 

Annette. I want to. I want to, but when I look into your 

face I see a cloud, and Oh! I do not know what it 

means. Tell me. 

Tanguay. You see a cloud? Yes. it is a cloud in my sky, 
not yours. 

Annette. And if in yours why not a little in mine? 

Tanguay. (Hesitating.) Is your horizon and mine the 



same 



Annette. (Catching her breath.) No, no not yet — 

but perhaps 

Tanguay. You told me last night there was a reason. 
Annette. (Struggling with herself.) A reason, did I? 

73 



Tanguay. Yes, a reason. I thought of that last night, 
I thought a good deal of that. 

Annette. There can be so many reasons. 

Tanguay. True, but this was one. 

Annette. (Fighting for time.) Did I say just one? 

Tanguay. (Severely, as though beginning to doubt.) You 
said one, one you could not tell me then. 

Annette. I did, but, there are others. 

Tanguay. But just this one. Can you not trust me enough 
to tell me that one just now? 

Annette. But I did not think. There is another. At 
least there is every reason why I should tell you nothing at 
all. (Straightening herself up.) Lord Tanguay, I have been 

very foolish. I have led I mean I have talked to 

you too much. You have said things to me I should not have 
heard. 

Tanguay. You have forced them out of me. 

Annette. I think I did. In fact I forgot. Oh! Lord 
Tanguay go away and leave me in peace. 

Tanguay. But last night you insisted upon my staying. 

Annette. Yes, I know. Oh ! I was foolish. I should have 
known better. 

Tanguay. Now you want me to go? 

Annette. Don't go away from Clampton. Please don't! 

Tanguay. But then what do you want? 

Annette. (Desperately.) I don't know. 

Tanguay. But, Annette, Miss Palmerston, you place me in 
a very unbearable position. Last night I laid bare my heart 
before you. For one brief moment I hoped you might have 
some feeling for me. You left me without one word of 
comfort. You spent the rest of the evening talking with 
Nevers 

Annette. Oh I don't be jealous of that creature 

Tanguay. That creature you say that creature 

he is your guest. 

Annette. I know, I forgot myself. 

Tanguay. Do you know anything especial about Lord 
Nevers ? 

Annette. (Savagely.) I hate him. I hope you are satisfied. 
I hate him ! 

74 



Tanguay. (Thinking, and aside.) She has found him out. 
I wonder what he said. Would you tell me why? 

Annette. (Rousing herself.) Certainly not. I cannot tell 
you what passed between Lord Nevers and myself. 

Tanguay. Forgive me, I will not ask. (Piqued.) But 
surely after your talk with Nevers, and the way we parted 
you cannot suppose I had much chance for sleep. 

Annette. I am very sorry. 

Tanguay. I trust I am not jealous, but I do take some 
interest in what was said. I am sorry you cannot tell me. 
It might be better if you did. 

Annette. It was nothing, nothing at all. He thinks a 
great deal of himself. Perhaps he is justified. 

Tanguay. Did he say anything especial? 

Annette. I really cannot tell you what he said. Let us 

forget the matter. Somehow I don't think I feel as happy 

as I did. 

Tanguay. I am so sorry. 

Annette. You know, in spite of Lord Nevers I was happy, 
yes, very happy, after you left me. And I was so happy this 
morning. But I knew it could not last. Oh ! why is it 
that dreams could never come true? 

Tanguay. You dreamed? 

Annette. Yes, I dreamed. And oh! such a pleasant dream. 

Tanguay. Could I not know what you dreamed? 

Annette. Yes, you might know it was after all but a 

dream. I knew it (Hesitating.) 

Tanguay. When ? 

Annette. When I saw your face this morning. But I was 
determined to keep that dream. I can see it now. (Looks 
ecstatic.) 

Tanguay. (Coming near.) Let me see it too. 

Annette. I dreamed I was young. Oh! yes, a mere child 
ill the world, and that 

Tanguay. And that 

Annette. The world held nothing base, nothing sordid, 
that life was all one sweet, happy dream, perfect sunshine, 
sweet peace and 

Tanguay. And (She stops and looks at him.) 

75 



Annette. And that in this paradise of repose came a 
vision 

Tanguay. A vision ! 

Annette. Yes, a vision of someone who was higher than 
earth, someone who was strong, who was noble, who was 
fearless, who was brave. 

Tanguay. Some one who was higher than earth some- 
one who was strong someone who was noble someone 

who was fearless — who was brave. It was a vision ! 

Annette. And this someone bade me remember that in this 
sweet sunshine, this perfect bliss, there was a higher plane, 
and to that plane I had not reached. 

Tanguay. And that dream left you happy? 

Annette. That dream came to me like a message from 
above, because it seemed a call to spread my wings and soar 
to perfect bliss. 

Tanguay. I do not think I hardly understand. 

Annette. No, you cannot understand, because you do not 
know. 

Tanguay. And why do I not know? 

Annette. Because you do not know yourself. 

Tanguay. I do not know myself 

Annette. No, but I know 

Tanguay. You know? 

Annette. I know, because I know you. 

Tanguay. You know me? 

Annette. Yes, I know you, and you do not know yourself 
Hush, I will tell you. Last night you broke your bonds, 
you declared that which was in your heart. The man in 
you spoke, the nobleman declared himself, and the Earl of 
Tanguay faded out of sight. You did not see, but I saw. 
I dreamed, and in that dream you were the someone of whom 
I dreamed. 

Tanguay. (Passionately.) You love me ! 

Annette. (Repelling him gently.) I said I dreamed. Ah! 
it was 

Tanguay. No, no, don't say it was a dream, Annette, it 
was the truth, the truth. For God's sake say yes. 

Annette. Why say something I shall always regret? 

Tanguay. Regret ! why regret ? 

76 



Annette. You say that you love me. You want me to 
love you, but you cannot ask me to be your wife. 
Tangiiay. Why cannot 1 ask you that? 
Annette. Because you cannot, must not. 
Tanguay. But, do you love me, that is the question? 
Annette. Don't ask me! 

Tanguay. I must ask you ! I have the right to know. A 
man who loves a woman, and tells her so, has the right to 
a plain answer. 
Annette. Not always! there may be reasons, 
Tanguay. But I must know those reasons. Annette, I 
demand an answer. 
Annette. Oh! Alfred, how can you doubt it? 
Tanguay. (Embracing her.) I knew it. I knew it. 
(Kisses her.) 
Annette. (Struggling.) You must not, I will not have it. 

It is not right. I cannot marry you 

Tanguay. You have a reason, you must tell. 
Annette. I cannot tell, I cannot tell you now. When I 
tell you, you will know I am right. Please. 
Tanguay. No, I cannot let you go. 

Annette. Oh! please, I will tell you, then you will know. 
(He releases her.) 
Tanguay. Tell me ! 

Annette. I am not what I seem (Tanguay starts.) I 

am not 

Tanguay. (Bitterly.) Don't tell me any more. 
Annette. Any more? I must tell you now that I have 
begun. 

Tanguay. (Passionately.) 1 will not hear it. I will be- 
lieve you are all you seem. (Aside.) My God, what am I 
saying! Annette, say you love me! 

Annette. I love you, you know I love you. 
Tanguay. (Holding his head.) That is enough, don't tell 
me anything more. 

Annette. But, Lord Tanguay, Alfred, you seem strange 

what is the matter. (He reels, she catches him.) Are you 
dizzy? 

Tanguay. (Gasping.) Yes I am dizzy. 

77 



Annette. Sit down! (Pushes him into a chair.) Let me 
call someone. 

Tanguay. (Alarmed.) Oh! please don't. Tell me once 

more that dream. 

Annette. My dream ! (He takes her hand.) 

Yes, please, just once. The world held 

(Terrified.) Held nothing base, nothing sor- 



Tanguay. 

Annette. 
did 

Tanguay. 

Annette. 

Tanguay. 

Annette. 
vision. 

Tanguay. 

Annette. 

Tanguay. 
himself.) 

Annette. 
noble. 

Tanguay. 
noble 

Annette. 

Tanguay. 

Annette. 
plane 

Tanguay. 



Yes, go on ! 
That life was one sweet, happy dream 

Perfect sunshine 

Sweet peace, and that in this paradise camt: a 

(Drawing her closer.) A vision of some one 

Who was higher than earth 

Someone who was strong (Struggling with 

Some one who was strong someone who was 

(Bowing his head.) Some one who was 

And some one who was brave. 

And that some one bade you remember 

That in this sweet sunshine there was a higher 



Oh! Annette, 



asion to call you to 



A plane you had not reached, 
darling, help me. 

Annette. Yes, Alfred. 

Tanguay. Help me. Was I that 
a higher plane? To a perfect bliss? 

Annette. Yes, Alfred. 

Tanguay. And can I be myself and burst these bonds? 

Annette. Yes, Alfred oh ! Why (A cry as she throws 

herself into his arms.) you can. 

Tanguay. And can I be the perfect nobleman? 

Annette. (Sobbing.) My darling, you are. 

Tanguay. (Rising and holding her in his arms.) Then, 
before God I will. (Pause.) Annette, they are coming! 

Annette. Oh ! T must run. (Kisses him and goes out.) 



78 



Tanguay. My God, that check ! That devil of a Nevers I 
But I will not believe it. Enter Houghton. Lady Mary, 
Lord Nevers, Mr. and Mrs. Hampton et al.) 

Mrs. BamptoiL Oh! you have a surprise? I am so glad. 

Mrs. Courteiiay. You are not going to tell us we are 
sure to go to heaven, that would surprise most of us more 
than anything else. 

Baby. Oh ! Mr. Houghton, I really thought it was candy, 
from the happy look you had. 

Lord Nevers. We seem to have had several surprises in 
the last few days. I wonder if this can really stir us up 
to interest. 

Houghton. I really think it can. 

Bampton. My good fellow, do not delay. Our curiosity 
is growing. 

Houghton. Quite the thing, the greater your curiosity the 
greater will be your surprise. 

Xevers. (Yawning.) Do please begin, reverend sir. (With 
a sneer.) 

Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! don't let us bother, Nevers, it is 
sure to be a sermon. 

Lady Mary. I am not sure we do not all need a good 
lecture. 

Houghton. Well, to begin, I have learned there is a 
detective in the house. I am not sure about English law, 
but it seems to me there is some kind of penalty attached 
to such doings. (Nevers and Mrs. Courtenay start.) A 
certain check signed by the Marquis of San Lucar was 
abstracted from Miss Palmerston's desk, and while it was 
returned, comes very near to being called larceny. (Nevers 
gets uneasy.) Owing to that check being in Miss Palmer- 
ston's possession unfavorable comments were made about 
her. It seems, then, in simple justice to her, that this very 
simple matter should be cleared up. I am the Marquis of 
San Lucar. (General consternation.) 

Mrs. Courtenay. (Raising her glass and staring, then re- 
covering herself.) The Marquis of San Lucar, why of 
course, we ought to have known it. Pray forgive our 
stupidity. How very delightful, and isn't it romantic? 

79 



Mrs. Bam t^ ton. (Gasping.) The Marquis of San Lucar, 
and Annette never told me? 

Mr. Bampton. I knew there was something up. I know 
that was why I took so to you. 

Lady Mary. The Marquis of San Lucar ! really, I am 
ashamed of you. 

San Lucar. My dear Lady Mary, what can you possibly 
mean? 

Lady Mary. Mean, you ought to know. Mean (She 

flounces out.) 

San Lucar. (Walking away.) I trust, Mrs. Courtenay, you 
are not shocked too? 

Mrs. Courtenay. Oh ! not in the least. Come on, Nevers, 
we will go with the marquis. (Exeunt.) 

Baby. I say, Johnny, it is better than candy. 

Johnny. Oh ! come on and see the fun. Lady Mary is 
going to have a fit. (Exeunt.) 

Tanguay. (Who, at one side, has heard the confession, 
and is quite overcome.) My God, my God ! from his own 
lips, and he here! I won't believe the beasts. I won't! 

There was someone who was higher than earth My 

God, who was strong Oh I how weak I am who 

raised her to a higher plane Oh ! help me, God Almighty, 

to be strong. Oh ! help me to be brave Oh ! I will, I 

love her and she loves me. The Earl of Tanguay will fade 

out of sight and oh ! Lord, have mercy, let the noble 

man remain. 

Curtain. 



80 



ACT IV. 

Scene. — Hall of Clamp ton. Time. — Before luncheon. Enter 
Bampton. Gazing around in a perplexed manner. 

Bampton. Huh the old lady has let me in this time 

for a regular music hall act. She knows I hate variety 
shows. Regular old theme, sweet persecuted girl, all inno- 
cence and purity, but raking in the shekels, nevertheless. 
Noble lord, under great financial stress, in love with said 
persecuted female. Gang of heartless conspirators egging 
the two innocents on to their own destruction. Vindictive 
mother, I mean sister, vowing fire and brimstone. Mysterious 

person turning out to be a prince in disguise. Huh it's 

all right for the stage setting, but the actors don't seem 
to come to time. And there is no innocent little dove to be 
dangled over the precipice by the villain, and scream for 
help (Enter Baby, hearing last fezv words.) 

Baby. Yes, there is, what do you want better than me? 

Bampton. Oh! it's you! (Waking up.) 

Baby. Just in time, now dangle me over the brink. 

Bampton. But, my dear, I am not the villain. I am the 
hero to rescue you. 

Baby. Well then, hurry up and find the villain. I want 

to be rescued. It will be such fun and I am so innocent. 

y(Crosses her eyes and looks helpless.) 

Bampton. Huh ! you want to be a heroine. 

Baby. Of course I do! Every girl longs to be a heroine. 
What do I read novels for if it isn't just too lovely to 
think what I would do in such a situation? 

Bampton. What would you do in the present situation? 

Baby. Fall in love wnth the handsome marquis, of course. 

Bampton. But he has a wnfe! 

Baby. So have you ! 

Bampton. (Meditatively.) Yes, that is true. Wives are 
not bad things. 

Baby. (Innocently.) Not when they are American 
heiresses. 

82 



Bampton. Little trying sometimes. 

Baby. (With a demure look.) Well, you don't always 
have to fall in love with your wife. 

Bampton. Huh, there is something true in what you say. 

Baby. But, do you know, I already love the marquis 
madly? Yes, just madly! He's so romantic. Why, mamma 
said it was such a pity he was married to that old frump. 
She feels awfully sorry for him, so do I. 

Bampton. (Looking at Baby inquiringly.) She does? 

Baby. Yes, she says he is so distinguished. Can't quite 
see how she never saw it before. 

Bampton. She did? 

Baby. Yes, she says he is really noble. One of nature's 
noblemen 

Bampton. And Dom Pedro's ! 

Baby. Yes, of course, nature and monarchs always play 
together, you know. Something about divine right. 

Bampton. What a lot you know for a child. 

Baby. I'm not a child. (Pouts.) 

Bampton. No? 

Baby. No, I am just a baby. 

Bampton. Well, you are so innocent, tell me what you 
think of this fairy tale we have here. 

Baby. What fairy tale? 

Bampton. About the Marquis of San Lucar and Miss 
Palmerston. 

Baby. Why, Mr. Bampton, what are you talking about? 
The Marquis of San Lucar and Miss Palmerston, it sounds 
awful ! 

Bampton. Oh! I see, you are too young to know about 
such things. 

Baby. I don't know what things you mean. But I do 

know my mamma thinks the marquis such a nice man 

and so good and 

Bampton. Oh! so good, huh! 

Baby. And she says Miss Palmerston is one of the 
sweetest girls she ever met. 

Bampton. Oh! he is so good, and she is so sweet, huh 

(Johnny enters.) 

Johnny. Who is so sweet? 

83 



Baby. I am, Mr. Bampton just said so. 

Bampton. You little barefaced humbug. 

Baby. Now call me names. But, Johnny, isn't Miss 
Palmerston just sweet? 

Bampton. Just explain that ten thousand pound check. 

Baby. Explain that check? Why, I heard mamma say 
to Lady Mary if she had to explain every check she got 
she would go crazy. 

Bampton. Huh and what did Lady Mary say? 

Baby. Why, she said now what did she say? Did 

you hear, Johnny? 

Johnny. Yes, she said she quite believed her. 

Baby. Oh ! yes, and mamma went right off in a huff and 
she said some people who thought themselves so good weren't 
any better than they might be. And. Johnny, now I think 
of it, she looked straight at you. Aren't you good? 

Johnny. Your mamma knows a lot more than is good for 
her. 

Baby. My mamma is all right. I love my mamma. 

Bampton. (Smiling.) So far as I can find out you love 
everybody, kind of a family failing, eh ! 

Baby. I don't know what you mean, but I love Miss 
Palmerston and the Marquis of San Lucar. Mamma said I 
might. (Enter Madame de San Lucar.) 

Madame de San Lucar. I am very glad if you love my 
husband, and you are very wise to love Miss Palmerston. 
They both like children. 

Baby. (Making a courtesy, but not relishing the children.) 
Yes, Madame, but Mr. Bampton was trying to make out that 
I should not love Miss Palmerston. 

Madame de San Lucar. He did, why, I wonder? 

Bampton. My dear Marquise, don't believe her. 

Baby. You did, you said it was about the ten thousand 
pound check. 

Bampton. (Embarrassed.) I am sure you are laboring 
under a mistake. 

Baby. You did ! You said this was a fairy tale about the 
Marquis and Miss Palmerston, and you 

Bampton. I didn't what a capacity for mischief, you have 
got. 

84 



Mme. de San Lucar. But, Mr. Bampton, there seems to 

have been something in your mind that needs explanation. 

Baby. He doesn't understand why the Marquis gives Miss 

Palmerston ten thousand pound checks, that is all. I don't 

think his mind works right, does it, Johnny? 

Johnny. I don't know, it always goes and goes 

Baby. Yes, that's just it. It goes and goes and it 

never knows where it is going. 

Mme. de San Lucar. I thought the matter had been 
sufficiently cleared up. I will find my husband. (Exit.) 

Bampton. A nice mess you have made of it! 

Baby. You called me a little barefaced humbug, so there ! 

Bampton. You are worse! 

Baby. You mustn't call me names, I won't have it. Stand 
up for me, Johnny ! 

Johnny. I'll stand up for you, sweetheart. (Enter Lady 
Mary and Nevers.) 

Lady Mary. Did you say sweetheart? Really, you and 
Baby are growing up. Mr. Bampton, I am ashamed of you 

to let these children act so. As I was saying now what 

was I saying? Lord Nevers, it doesn't matter in the least 
what either you or Mrs, Courtenay say, or in fact what you 
do. (Exit Johnny and Baby.) I am going to leave 
Do you hear, Mr. Bampton? It is all very well for your 
wife, who, I know, is an excellent and good woman. Now 

what was I saying yes, for her to stand up for Miss 

Palmerston. It is all very well, but I won't, it is too much ! 
At least it is false pretences, and the scandal of the check 

Bampton. Scandal did you say scandal? Don't say it. 

Lady Mary. But I think it. 

Bampton. Don't say all you think, I never do. 

Lady Mary. (Severely.) I did not know you ever thought. 
I thought you always said without thinking. 

Bampton. My dear Lady Mary, you surprise me. 

Lady Mary. I think and I act. I acquit your wife of all 
intentional wrong doing. I only think she is too easily led. 
She must have been to marry you. (Nevers exit.) 

Bampton. Me, why. Lady Mary, I entirely fail to under- 
stand you. 

Lady Mary. That is why you are happy. People who 

85 



understand things are never happy. 

Bampton. How very miserable you must be, and I had 
always supposed 3^ou so happy. 

Lady Mary. You did? Well, I am not! I am miserable. 
I have ruined my life by doing for others. 

Bampton. (Quizzically.) And been so misunderstood? 

Lady Mary. I may have been misunderstood, but I have 
gone on straight in the path of duty. 

Bampton. Oh ! 

Lady Mary. You do not have to say oh ! it's insulting. I 
have helped the unfortunate 

Bampton. Oh! 

Lady Mary. I have tried to help my family I have 

stood between my brother 

Bampton. And happiness ! 

Lady Mary. Nothing of the sort! Between him and 
poverty. I have put my trust in a fair-faced adventuress 

Bampton. You don't mean Mrs. Bampton? 

Lady Mary. Certainly not! Your poor wife is only a fool, 
and you are the living exemplification of it. 

Bampton. Huh just a kind of aristocratic sign post. 

Lady Mary. Not even that ! The sign is so obscured by 
age few can read it. 

Bampton. Only the aged, I suppose, who remember me 
in my youth. 

Lady Mary. You are insulting. For an English gentle- 
man 

Bampton. I act like a lord, huh Nevers, for instance. 

I won't say Tanguay. 

Lady Mary. Shame to talk to a lady so. 

Bampton. I never do. 

Lady Mary. You are no gentleman. 

Bampton. Such remarks are reserved for one's wife. 

Lady Mary. You mean I say it to Johnson? I do, he 
deserves it. (Enter Tanguay.) I have found you at last. 
What did you do with yourself when that miserable marquis 
threw off his disguise and came out in his true colors? 

Tanguay. I went for a walk. 

Lady Mary. You might better have seen to your packing. 
Has 3'our man got it done? 

86 



Tanguay. He has not been told I am going. 

Lady Mary. But you are going? I have looked for you 
everywhere, and I have looked for Miss Palmerston too. I 
couldn't find her. I suppose you have been with her. 

Tanguay. I have not been so lucky as to meet her. 

Lady Mary. But you must at least have tried to say good- 
bye. 

Tanguay. In fact it never occurred to me. 

Lady Mary. But you must at least be decent. We can't 
run out of the house as though it were a pest house, although 
it really is. I actually shudder at the thought ! 

Bampton. Pest house! goodness gracious, has anyone got 
the smallpox? 

Lady Mary. Something far worse. Tanguay, go at once 
and tell your man we leave on the three forty-five. 

Tanguay. But I am not going on the three forty-five. 

Lady Mary. What? 

Tanguay. I like it here, and I see no reason to leave. 

Lady Mary. After the awful disclosures? 

Tanguay. (Coolly.) What disclosures? 

Lady Mary. The check for ten thousand pounds. 

Tanguay. (Ill at ease, and Bampton laughs.) The check 
for ten thousand pounds, what of that? 

Lady Mary. (Impatient.) Tanguay, you will drive me 
mad. 

Bampton. Please don't go mad, you really have got to 
restrain yourself. 

Lady Mary. Tanguay, you must leave ! I am going on the 
three forty-five and you must go Avith me. T do believe you 
are quite daft about that woman ! 

Tanguay. Well, I am. 

Bampton. Goodness gracious! when she hasn't a cent? 

Lady Mary. (With a sneer.) But the ten thousand pounds. 

Tanguay. (Defiant.) Well, that is something. Perhaps 
my price isn't as high as yours or Bampton's. 

Lady Mary. What, sell yourself for ten thousand pounds. 

Tanguay. T had as lief sell myself for ten thousand pounds 
as for a million. When it comes to a money bargain one 
price is as del stable as another. You and Bampton sold 
yourselves for more than you were worth, so you cheated 

87 



your respective partners. I am worth very little, and if Miss 
Palmerston is willing to take me, I will go at any price. 

Lady Mary. How vulgar! how very vulgar! 

Bampton. (Indignant.) How outrageously vulgar! I 
think now, Lady Mary, you ought to be sorry you said those 
things to me just now. 

Lady Mary. (In wrath.) I am sorry I ever lived. After 
all I have done, all I have suffered to have it end like that, 
and the Tanguay peerage to go to such a thing 

Tanguay. Stop! Miss Palmerston is going to be the 
Countess of Tanguay if ever there is one, and I will not have 
you say anything against her. In fact you have no reason. 
The check was a perfectly legitimate transaction, and the 
presence here of Madame de San Lucar certainly makes 
everything correct. It is entirely that devil of a Nevers 
and that Courtenay woman who have put ideas into your 
head. I shall stay just as long as Miss Palmerston permits. 

Lady Mary. You know, Tanguay, I am no great stickler 
for morality, but I do draw the line at appearances. 

Tanguay. But who has made the appearances? 

Lady Mary. We were enticed here under false pretences. 

Tanguay. You were the very first to accept those false 
pretences. When I rebelled at being thrown at Miss Palmer- 
ston's head as a desirable catch, I said I would never marry 
a woman capable of enduring such an indignity. 

Lady Mary. (With a sneer.) But you came? 

Tanguay. Yes, I came, but I came, and 1 told you so, 
saying that I would never marry the heiress. 

Lady Mary. But now you are going to. 

Tanguay. I am not so sure. 

Lady Mary. I am delighted to hear it. 

Tanguay. I am not at all sure that she would have me. 
She has ideas of her own. 

Lady Mary. Oh! I am so glad she has a little sense of 
decency. 

Tanguay. I won't hear such talk. She knows her own 
mind best. 

Lady Mary. And you say she will not marry you? 

Tanguay. She hasn't said she would. 



Lady Mary. Ah ! I see. you are poor, and she is after 
money, of course. Naturally she wouldn't marry you. I quite 
understand ! 

Tanguay. You do not understand, you never could under- 
stand, you have not even the faintest idea of the reason she 
would have not to marry me. You couldn't have after marry- 
ing Johnson, you could not possibly understand the motives 
of such a woman. 

Lady Mary. (With rage.) Tanguay. I wash my hands of 
you henceforth. You shall go your own way. 

Tanguay. I will go my own way. I am going to seek 
Miss Palmerston. I am going to assure her of my determ- 
ination. I will stand by her no matter what happens. 

Lady Mary. (With a sneer.) You are in love! 

Tanguay. I am in love, and if one is in love and cannot 
stand by the woman he loves, he is not fit to ever have a 
loving, trusting wife, or be called a man. I will be called 
a man before I will be called a social dead beat. If I am 
deceived, I will be deceived. There would have been few 
marytrs if all men and all women were like those we have 
known. 

Lady Mary. A woman with her past ! 

Tanguay. Past or no past. I love her, I believe in her; in 
her for what she is now. Surely I am not one to cast 
stones at her. If she will forgive me, I will forgive her. 
(Exit.) 

Bampton. Really, Lady Mary, he almost takes my breath 
away. 

Lady Mary. He entirely takes mine away. What a 
fool and no money. 

Bampton. Really. Lady Mary, I must go and find the old 
lady, she does not know what she is missing. (Nevers 
enters.) My dear fellow, you are just too late. 

Nevers. What's up? 

Bampton. Oh! Lady Mary is just going to have hysterics, 
and Tanguay has lost his head, and Baby actually sauced 
me back, and, as Lady Mary will probably faint in a minute, 
your manly bosom will come in handy. (Exit.) 

Lady Mary. Did you ever see such a fool? 



Nevers. (Smiling.) Often, my dear Lady Mary, Bampton 
is a social necessity. 

Lady Mary. I suppose he is, but what an awful mess we 
are in. 

Nevers. Are we? You surprise me. 

Lady Mary. Of course we are! I suppose Mrs. Courtenay 
has been attending to her packing? 

Xevers. Not that I know of. You quite surprise me. 

Lady Mary. You don't mean to say she intends to remain? 

Nevers. I quite think she does. 

Lady Mary. What, after this awful scandal? 

Nevers. I know of no scandal. I do remember you got 
very excited and said something hasty to the marquis. Do 
you mean he resented it? 

Lady Mary. Resented it? He resent it? A nice one he 
would be to resent the natural indignation of an outraged 
woman. 

Nevers. I fear, Lady Mary, I am entirely at a loss to 
grasp your meaning. 

Lady Mary. Well, I never 

Nevers. Oh! indeed, never? How very positive you are. 

Lady Mary. And that creature! 

Nevers. What creature? Are there animals around? 
Now, really? (Puts up his glass and surveys Lady Mary 
serenely.) 

Lady Mary. (Still more exasperated.) Do you mean to 
tell me, Lord Nevers, you arc quite lost to all decency? I 
mean social decency? 

Nevers. Why, my dear friend, long since. That is the 
reason I enjoy my present peace of mind. Take my advice 
and lose yours just as fast as you can. It pays, I assure you. 

Lady Mary. Well, you are cool, you are almost heroic! 
May I ask why you introduced a detective into the house 
if you had no intention of making use of the information 
he had gained? 

Nevers. I have made use of it. It has warned me not 
to propose to a young woman who has no money. It was 
worth all it cost ! 

90 



Lady Mary. But after you gained that information and 
saved your life from probable wreck, pray why did you 
continue here? 

Nevers. Simply because I was invited, and so far I have 
found it very agreeable. And then, because I see no reason 
for going. You raised the issue as to the source of the 
money we are enjoying. Surely you know Johnson made 
his by selling beer, and afterwards by squeezing the market. 

Lady Mary. We will drop that subject. 

Nevers. Oh ! no, we will not, because it happens that both 
you and I are living on money gotten by unpleasant agencies. 
I am quite aware that my ancestors did dirty work for our 
virgin queen. Bless her old heart, she must have had a 
prophetic dream of how I would need the money. Take my 
advice, Lady Mary, accept what the gods give you, and what 
you can readily and safely take, and don't, just because you 
are safe from starvation, be hard on those who are not. 

Lady Mary. Well I never 

Nevers. Your life, dear Lady Mary, seems to have been 
made up of omissions. I think I understand the prayer book 
better since I have known you. You are indeed a mission- 
ary. (Lady Mary is speechless. Enter Annette. She 
glares at her and goes out.) 

Annette. What has happened to her? (Smiling.) 

Nevers. She has lost something, and has not the grit to 
bear her loss with equanimity. 

Annette. Oh! that is too bad. what is it? 

Nevers. Money ! 

Annette. Then I do not wonder, but it must have been a 
lot to have caused such a look. (Enter Tanguay.) 

Tanguay. I have found you at last. 

Annette. Have you been looking? 

Nevers. I really must go and console Lady Mary. 

Annette. Yes do! (Exit Nevers.) And you have been 
looking for me? 

Tanguay. Yes, you fled so precipitately. And have you 
heard nothing? 

Annette. No, what do you mean? 

Tanguay. Oh ! nothing ! 

Annette. You do mean something, please tell me. 

91 



Tanguay. You I can't tell you. 

Annette. But you must. 

Tanguay. You know about San Lucar? 

Annette. (Startled.) The marquis, yes 

Tanguay. Then I need not tell you any more. 

Annette. But I don't know what you mean. 

Tanguay. But, Annette, of course you know. I have 
nothing to tell you. 

Annette. (Distressed.) Of course I know I mean 

Tanguay. Annette! what is it, tell me? 

Annette. But tell me all you know. 

Tanguay. (Worried.) All I know? 

Annette. Yes, tell me all you know. 

Tanguay. (Walking away and choking.) I know very 
little. Mr. Houghton 

Annette. (Starting.) Mr. Houghton 

Tanguay. (Recovering himself.) Why, Annette, darling, 
you know, of course, that Mr. Houghton is just the Marquis 
of San Lucar. in disguise? 

Annette. (Hesitating.) Well 

Tanguay. Well, he came in to tell the people 

that 

Annette. You stammer? 

Tanguay. No, I don't stammer. (Trying to lauqh.) 

Annette. You do! There is something I do not know. 

Tanguay. Is there? (Hopeful.) What don't you know? 

Annette. (Agitated.) Why, about this this marquis 

of San Lucar. 

Tanguay. Oh ! my God, can I stand this ? Why is she 
not frank? (Aside.) 

Annette. You do not answer me. Alfred, please! 

Tanguay. (Going to her.) Yes, dear. It is only that he 
said he was the Marquis of San Lucar, and he hoped that 
would clear up any misunderstanding that we might have. 

Annette. He did, he said that? 

Tanguay. Yes, isn't Mr. Houghton the Marquis of San 
Lucar ? 

Annette. Yes, but why should he come forward and say 
so 

Tanguay. Why not say so, if he is? 

92 



Annette. But you said it was to clear up something, 

Tanguay. Did I? (Affecting carelessness.) Oh! I forgot. 

Annette. You are trying to keep something from me. 

Tanguay. Well, if I am, do I do anything wrong? 

Annette. But it seems I ought to know, 

Tanguay. It was nothing ! Just a little something about 
money, I believe. 

Annette. About money, what could it be? 

Tanguay. About nothing much. Only the marquis said 
he had heard something that made it better that he should 
own up to his real character. Everyone seemed delighted, 
and Mrs, Courtenay remarked that there was something very 
distinguished about him, 

Annette. I must see him at once. 

Tanguay. (Struggling with himself.) Don't go now, tl^ere 
is plenty of time, 

Annette. But it worries me, I must see him. I must learn 
what made him take this step. (Starts to go out.) 

Tanguay. Stay, it is almost time for luncheon. You can 
see him then. 

Annette. True! (Uneasily.) 

Tanguay. It is all cleared up. You know this morning 
you made me very happy. 

Annette. Ah! Alfred, it was you that made me happy. 

Tanguay. I am glad I could, my darling. 

Annette. It seems to me as though I understood as I 
never understood before 

Tanguay. What was it, sweetheart? 

Annette. (Laying her head against his arm.) You know 
in the service 

Tanguay. Yes! (Putting his arm around her.) 

Annette. For better, for worse Oh! Alfred, it is so 

glorious to have some one trust you, 

Tanguay. Yes, my dear ! (His face distorted.) 

Annette. And to have that one strong. 

Tanguay. Yes, strong ! 

Annette. And there is a higher plane, and to that higher 
plane you and I can go together. 

Tanguay. Yes, oh ! yes, 

93 



(Enter San Lucar, Lady Mary, his wife and the rest 
following as Dumbell announces luncheon.) 

San Lucar. As I was saying, Lady Mary, you do not yet 
understand the situation. As you are aware I really am a 
freak. 

Lady Mary. A freak, what is that? 

San Lucar. A freak, dear madam, is the American term 
for something unusual. 

Lady Mary. Well, you are that ! 

San Lucar. It pleases me to state I am. I was always 
unusual. The usual bored me extremely. 

Lady Mary. But you posed as a clergyman of the church. 

San Lucar. I am. I started out in life with the intention 
of being a good one. 

Lady Mary. (With cuifhasis.) Well, if you were, that 
was certainly unusual. 

San Lucar. You see I had no chance, for just as I had 
laid all my plans for being a good clergyman my poor uncle 
whom the whole family had forgotten, in fact had long con- 
sidered dead, did really pass away and leave me any amount 
of property. This property is the vexation of my life. I am 
disinclined to manage it myself, and so have been looking 
for an honest man to do it for me. 

Lady Mary. Is it so difficult? 

San Lucar. Rather. I must have a gentleman, a man of 
honor, an honest man. and one with brains. 

Lady Mary. Really, marquis, you want the earth. 

San Lucar. Well, yes, but strange as it may seem, I have 
found my man. 

Lady Mary. (Putting up her glass.) Really, and where 
did you find him? 

San Lucar. Right here ! 

Lady Mary. Here, where? (Gazing around.) 

San Lucar. Your brother, the Earl of Tanguay. He 
confided to me this morning that he wanted to earn a decent 
living. I told him I thought I could help him. We have 
agreed. He is to go out to the Argentine at a certain salary 
with ample opportunities to do for himself. 

Lady Mary. But. Marquis, this does not explain the un- 
happy matter to which I alluded. 

94 



San Lucar. Oh ! you mean the ten thousand pound check 
and the unpleasant construction put on it by Lord Nevers. 

Annette. (Starting.) What is this? (To Tanguay.) 
Tangiiay. Hush! (She leans on his arm.) 

San Lucar. I think Lord Nevers understands that matter 
fully. (Nevers bows.) I regret you persist in continuing 
the subject, Annette, Miss Palmerston, is a very old friend 
of my wife. She is clever, with great social experience. 
When I wished to find a man I could trust, and see some- 
thing also of English society, I asked her to take a house 
in England and gather about her a circle of friends and let 
me be one of her guests in my true character, a clergyman 
and a seeker after truth, and not in the garish light of a 
South American Croesus, a role as unpleasant to me as it 
is difficult to maintain. That you did not know the truth 
does not in my mind alter the situation. Neither Miss 
Palmerston nor I have appeared in any false light, simply 
in our true colors. If certain phases of English society 
desire to find in Annette a great heiress, we surely are not 
to blame. And if you are a little bitter because you consider 
she accepted checks to pay my bills, against what you esteem 
the accepted dictum of your set, you have, I think, Lady 
Mary, your own haste to blame. 

Mrs. Coiirtenay. I think, my dear Marquis, it ]ias been all 
very foolish. I for one consider Lady Mary Johnson not 
only to have been bitter, but unkind. 

Nevers. Surely, Lady Mary, you must admit you have 
precipitated a most distressing scene. 

Baby. Mamma, do you suppose :\Iiss Palmerston would 
just let me hold that ten thousand pound check for a minute? 
(Annette starts.) 

Mrs. Courtenay. Hush ! 

Bampton. You little nuisance I 

Johnny. Let's eat. 

Mrs. Bampton. I trust. Lady Mary, you are quite content. 
The Marquis and Marquise are passing into the dining room. 
(Exeunt all but Tanguay and Annette. Annette has with- 
drawn behind some palms, and Tanguay, at one side, looks 
at her. After all the others have entered the dining room 
she comes forward.) 

95 



Annette. Alfred Alfred! 

Tanguay. (Moving up.) Yes, dearest. 

Annette. Did you hear about the check? 

Tanguay. Yes I heard. (Radiant.) 

Annette. And is it true? 

Tanguay. Is what true? 

Annette. Is it true that that check a mis- 
apprehension ? 

Tanguay. Yes, dear, it did ! 

Annette. And did they think think oh! 

Alfred did they (Gasping) think 

Tanguay. (Disturbed.) Did they think what? 

Annette. Did they think oh ! Alfred, I can't say it. 

(Buries her face in his shoulder.) 

Tanguay. Don't think of it, darling, it is not worth while. 

Annette. (Recovering herself.) Oh! my God, Alfred. 

Lord Tanguay, tell me, did you believe it? That that 

thing did you believe it? 

Tanguay. (Disturbed.) I love you ! 

Annette. You believed believed believed it 

can't be true. 

Tanguay. (Eagerly.) It is not true. 

Annette. You heard me maligned you heard proof 

Lady Mary seemed certain it must have seemed like 

proof and you you you. Oh ! God, what am I 

saying? You loved me, you heard I was bad, you had 

evidence of my sin and you loved me you still 

love me and stood by me? 

Tanguay. I should always stand by you. 

Annette. You could love me when everything was against 
me. 

Tanguay. Yes ! 

Annette. You could be true to me when your reason and 
your common sense told you better? 

Tanguay. Oh ! Annette. 

Annette. Tell me, Alfred, you could love me even then? 

Tanguay. For better or for worse! 

Annette. (Moving close to him, and laying her hand on 

his shoulder.) I saw a vision I see it now. A vision 

of someone who was higher than earth someone who was 

96 



strong who was noble who was fearless who 

was brave. (Tanguay bows his head.) And this someone 
bade me remember in this sweet sunshine, this perfect bliss, 

there was a higher plane (Tanguay's head sinks lower.) 

and to that plane I had not reached. (She sinks on her knees 
and kisses his hand.) Alfred, T am not worthy to be your 
wife. 1 am frivolous and vain. But if you will take me to 
that far off land 1 will come to the plane to which you may 
lead me. Alfred, dearest, T am not wicked, only weak. But 
you have been, and are, my vision, my sweet vision, leading 
me to perfect peace. (He raises her in his arms and kisses 
her.) 

Curtain 



97 



FEB 



5 1912 



One copy del. to Cat. Div. 



f£b 15 ISU 



